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Can you Refrain???
Impulsive behavior is extremely normal with brain trauma and you can also exhibit the opposite and do what I call the, “the motor mouth syndrome”… Which is a by product of PTSD… Psychology says those of us who have a smart ass remark about everything and are the products of domestic violence, do it because…
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Life is about one thing only, “Your Choices”…
Have a wonderful day…. I remember… copyright protected 2026 all rights reserved©️
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Paint by Number…
I can remember bugging my mom for one of those you could paint by number and I tried several times over the years until, I quit trying… I never could hold the brush steady, same with doing anything with my hands… Freda fractured them when I was 5 and she busted the knuckles on both…
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Floating on Air!!!
Cervical vertigo — also called cervicogenic dizziness — involves problems with your neck that cause you to have neck pain and dizziness. Your cervical spine (neck) plays a key role in balance and coordination. But if it’s inflamed, arthritic or injured, it can make you feel lightheaded and unsteady. This condition can occur following a…
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Imprinting or Memory???
Anyone who has read the blog for the last few years, I talk about memory and short term memory is my most frustrating issue I have… My long term memory is extremely good, but, if something associated with long term and short term intersect!!! No guarantee I am going to remember it and why is…
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Morning Surprise…
I know a great many of you in the U.S. have gotten post cards or actual paper checks in the mail from companies you did business with and they got sued and you got to be a part of a class action suit and all you had to do… Fill out the paperwork!!! We got…
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PTSD no longer has a hold…
As I wrote, last night was not a great night and it was because of these appointments this morning at the VA in Biloxi… I expected to be anxious and nervous and I expected it to go the way it should… My way… I left early enough to get a parking spot, with that 3500…
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Tight As???
A Drum… Ever play riddles??? I am so so at them, but that line from Scrooge is one that stuck for some reason… Why..?? Because today I feel wound up tight as a drum… Last night was not a comfortable night… The left leg let me know the nerve damage was hot and in overdrive,…
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Get Out of Jail Free Card…
When it comes to our brains and how bad some of us are about not getting out of our own heads… Come live with me for a while and you’ll want a ticket for permanent residency… It is never dull… Hypnosis is something I don’t believe in, but, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t used on…
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Without Fear, She had Zero Control!!!
Some days the writing hits, because, memories are floating around and reminding me of the propaganda in the Bagwell household… Gold diggers like Melania Trump are not new… They been around since humans could think… Someone is always looking for a easy edge to their agenda and my mother, Freda, was no different and this…
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1 Blow to the Head Changed our World… updated
Having this edetic memory ability isn’t all it’s cracked up to be… I know of a very high functioning person who can remember every second of every day of her life and it didn’t scare her or freak her, she learned to use it to her advantage… I wasn’t as lucky with my ability… I…
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Thigh Compartment Syndrome… Debilitating…
All the pup did, jump up and grab my leg above the knee in such a way, I was headed for the ground and it wasn’t going to be a comfortable hit to that tile floor… When I was at basic training, in 1977… Just 5 years after leaving home, I knew I had some…
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Drifting into 58 years of Amnesia and Counting…
The most fun part of what I am experiencing, the memories… The memories that have come back in full technicolor and play like they should, in other words, no deviation from the memory and no editing of the memory… The memory is solid and not fake… Like the memory of Don getting hit in the…
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What’s the Hurry???
Do you fold under pressure??? Do you cave when things go haywire??? Do you panic?? or Do you problem solve??? I usually go straight to problem solving, it is what made most of my boss’s over the decades not to thrilled, because, they didn’t think of the solution first… Problem solving is my strong suit…
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Doing the Research…
Neurologist I was seeing told me, if you write the book, have a doctor review it… That was 2019 or 20… Didn’t get why then, but now I do… I went to him purely for answer’s… No medications, no treatment, no diagnosis… I thought I had all those answers and I had questions… He answered…
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My Plate is Overflowing…
I don’t read about medicine or mental health issues, unless it is something I am researching because I have it or my husband or family member has something… Then I understand what the disease is or condition is… The last 24 months have been a lot of up and downs and death… Homer’s health has…
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Sticker Shock…
Blame game when you have a partner with dementia and you still allow things to happen… Do you do the blame game??? Getting the bill for the fancy computer I drive that we bought 2 years ago and no we didn’t need a new truck… Our diesel pulled it just fine the 5th wheel, though…
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Tough Choices….
How is your decision making??? Are you willing to jump in without much thought and go with the flow or are you one of those that looks at it thoroughly, compiles all your information and makes a decision??? With Homer’s dementia, I am the one making the choices and and that covers just about everything,…
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DDA – Direct Duty Assignment…
How’s your green level??? Can you take looking after a patient, when you never had a patient, unless you count your kids??? While in basic, I had the opportunity to change my assignment out of basic and I requested my husband’s base, which really was a arm pit assignment, but I didn’t know that, so,…
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Where Did the Smile Go???
You will never hear me say gods are good or face book is appropriate for kids or tik tok isn’t run by people who are storing all your info or Trump didn’t rape children… Liars are the ones who says a god forgives them, but they don’t have to follow the laws of the land,…
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Letting the Darkness have Freedom…
Claustrophobia (Fear of Enclosed Spaces) Medically Reviewed.Last updated on 09/15/2021. Fear of confined spaces (claustrophobia) becomes a phobia when it interferes with your ability to function at work, school, or other daily activities. Common triggers include tunnels, elevators, trains and airplanes. Behavior training is the main treatment. Other coping methods include relaxation, deep breathing exercises and…
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Ridem Cowboy or girl…
Now if it is me on a horse, ever since the nerve damage got bad and that was by the time I was 18, I couldn’t grasp a horse with my bare legs, I knew then something was off, but was young and didn’t care and I usually ended up tossed by said horse over…
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The Beginning…
Married March 1954 and I was born in August, a few months later and that seemed to be a pattern that wouldn’t stop until she couldn’t reproduce anymore… Already a mother at 16, to find out she was pregnant again and not married, back in the day, didn’t have any more impact then, than it…
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I live with this because of Christians!!!
Yes, blunt force trauma to the abdomen can make it hard to have a bowel movement. Severe impact can cause internal bruising, bleeding in the intestinal wall (hematoma), or a functional slowdown of the gut known as a paralytic ileus. It can also lead to a delayed physical blockage from scar tissue or strictures. Additionally,…
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You Can’t Outrun PTSD…
A change, from decades of living with that disorder… A disorder that can take you into places you never want to see again… You would rather face a leopard eating your face… My PTSD had me walking with a rage that was all consuming… For one thing, having amnesia… For another thing, how the Air…
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Not What I expected of Me…
You never know how truly angry you are, until you are pushed past the point of no return… When I learned my mother had been in hospice and not one of my 5 siblings informed me… I knew… Don (dad’s) words came to past… He was 100% accurate about the children he abused… but he…
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At A Cross Road…
Enjoying the morning, even though it is already hot and I told Homer, I am at a cross road on writing… What needed to be resolved with my past… Happened because of the estate drama and the court clerk at Mena, court house… Between her screaming at me and the family showing me the kind…
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Dying Twice Was Never Enough…
Getting to live through dying, not once, but twice, before I made it to 14 years old, alwyas makes me ask this question??? What have I got left to fear??? Death is our ultimate game ender and if you aren’t lucky enough to have someone there to bring you back, that death may be final……
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Lost memory …
Playing with the puppies and a kid hand slapping game from Japan just before the stroke at 14… How I remember this but not my childhood is why my amnesia is so damn frustrating… I apologize for my voice, you were warned… Maybe tonight will be a night of dreams…. I remember Copyright protected 2026…
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Respect & Approval?? Do You Require it???
When Don lay dying, my Uncle came out and told me how much Don respected me… Trying not to loose my temper, I gave my Uncle a hug and said nothing… I tried being respectful, not taking advantage, not using, not taking what wasn’t mine… None of the others did that, but hey, christians have…
