Ever feel at some point in your life you are prince charming or Cinderella or any other fairy tale told???

I did at one time and then I realized, those fairy tales have a darker side to them and they run in parralel with the bible, so, for me, I’ll pass on the analogy of comparassion with fairy tales and just compare myself to what I have lived…

Last night was one for the books of living in hell… No matter what I did, sleep was elusive… Hour here and awake a hour, and this went on all night long, from 9PM until I said screw it and got out of said bed at 5AM, because looking at my Iphone in bed without my glass’s, was going to be a headache in the making…

Once upon a time, when I had nights like this and Homer was ready to book out of marriage vill because of the behavior…

I would wake or get out of bed so cranky, everyone ran to different corners of the home or what ever till I quit being so bitchy… I could have done that this morning, but…

I accept what I can’t change and I change what I can…

My body is in a lot of pain and sometimes popping tyelonol or nsaids, just won’t do anything for me and it takes me doing specific workouts and pushing myself to stay motivated to keep moving my body parts, so they don’t freeze up on me and put me on the ground because nothing wants to hold me upright…

I have fought this battle since the spinal cord injury at 1 years old and that’s a lot of decades of being angry because you are in so much pain and you got so little sleep…

By not getting up angry or pissed off at the world… I know my day will be a little slower, but still full, a little less, but still busy and a little more cautious as I do the workouts…

Knowledge, knowing why I hurt and who hurt me and knowing why I have the body I have… to protect those younger than me… and then they proceeded to throw me under the bus…

When your kids come out just like you, I wouldn’t be so proud of that and my kids are the polar opposite of me… (yea respect is earned, not given)… My siblings are just like our abusers…

Anyway… Last night was one that will keep me home today, make me get creative about dinner, because I need to hit the store, but I feel so lousy… My best bet, stay home unless I absolutely have to go some place… (Now imagine living like this and working!!! Or serving in the military!!!)

My day will be one of reflection and I might have something to write, but life is good and I got no complaints, except for lack of sleep and that’s okay….

Because I still get to live another day…

I remember…

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