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She Can Fall Asleep Anywhere…?
Ya know as a military brat, I had fun… Not all of my life is rape and attempted murder ya know… I had fun and I imagine I had lots of that fun, I just don’t remember all of it… only bits and pieces… Key memories… Important clues…. Don was stationed in Colorado when he…
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It was, “Always Her”!!!
This explains why I am so pissed!!!!!! Yes, a blow to the abdomen can damage the pancreas in a 5-year-old girl. In fact, young children are structurally more susceptible to internal organ damage from blunt trauma than adults. [1] Why Children are At Higher Risk Children have thinner abdominal walls, less protective abdominal fat, and…
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Brain Fog…
After the rape of my kid on base and the attempted murder, things in the Air Force changed for me… I got to re-enlist for another 6 years and all of a sudden I am offered an assignment at Castle AFB and if you know California, rich as a E4 I was not and with…
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IgG4… ??? Disease or Domestic Violence, my bet, Violence… my bet was wrong…
The link talks about this protein mutation… https://www.jmaj.jp/detail.php?id=10.31662%2Fjmaj.2018-0017 It’s an interesting disease, I guess is what you call this, but when you dig deeper??? Let’s go back to my last pregnancy, 1977…. At 6 months gestation we thought I had appendicitis and they chose to remove it while I was pregnant… The Air Force did…
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My Armor has Cracks… edited
After surviving years of abuse, coming out of each operation alive, waking each morning with the usual aches and pains, I learned to live with… I found out, all of a sudden, I am not invincible, which will make some humans very, very happy, if my demise was today and not decades from now… When…
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2016 CT & 2026 CT, One is not like the other…???
Disappointed that I am wrong, but really glad we went to the ER… According to the 2016 Scan, they found one tiny little stone trying to kill the woman in me, because child birth is easier than passing a stone… So I was right on that memory… What got my attention was the fact there…
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The Children’s TV Show Interview was the start???
Okie dokie… This Pancreas thing has me going back to my early childhood on memories and like I wrote before on this subject, I bet I am on the right track and that’s because, you don’t know everything I lived… I do… After that beating in that picture above, I have only a couple memories……
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Medicine will never be Black or White…
Since Sunday, when the Veterans Clinic in Biloxi did the CAT scan, I have been walking on fire!!! I don’t research medical or psychological data, unless I have a true cause to research it, in other words… PROOF!!!!!! Do you know, I have a copy on the computer of my medical records from my teen…
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Nobody Knows.???
Good morning world… Hope your day is one worth living… Death is so… Final… Getting the results yesterday and finding out I have cysts on my pancreas, got me to thinking and going back and looking if any CT scan I had done would show that and in 2016, when I passed stones, they did…
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It’s Not A Popularity Contest….
A month or so back, after I came back on Blue Sky under my name and not my .com…. I picked up a couple of follower’s…. I won’t say names, because… It’s not a popularity contest… I was humbled, but then I got to thinking… this isn’t the first time I drew attention from people…
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Now What???
Wanna feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for Homer… He has had to listen to me rant for 32 years and at times, his dementia gives him a break from my talking about the past… Every movement I make, every flex of my mouth, neck, arms, hands, wrists, thighs, legs, knees, ankles and spine… I…
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Gaslighting in Health Care…
Wednesday I saw the oral surgeon I requested to see and the guy really is good, or at least I think he is… When he told me what he thought and I suggested implants on my dime, not the VA… He looked at my maxillary and without further ado, said, you don’t have enough bone…
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How Do I Know, I Am Right???
The one thing that the neuro psychologist suggested that I disagreed with, was the photographic memory ability…. When something bugs me, because I know I am right, I will pursue it till I am either proved right or wrong… and rarely am I wrong… I say that with certainty, because… I remember… Over the last…
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The Final Blow…
I can say with honesty, the neurologist got it wrong on the photographic memory… It is still there, but it does have a couple hiccups and I doubt those will ever go away and one of those hiccups is people… Names and faces… I won’t remember you, if you don’t imprint on me and it’s…
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The Puzzle is Almost Complete…
I say almost, because, no matter how much I do remember, I still have gaps in my memories from age 17 back to the first injury at 1 year old… How many of you have memories of holidays or birthdays??? I have 1 memory of Christmas, 1 memory of Halloween and 1 memory of birthdays……
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No More Worry… well, kinda…
Homer will be the first to tell you… If Maggi knows why she has pain, she has no problem managing it without becoming a addict to pain killers… or booze or pot or anything… When I wrote the blog back in 17 and I have 4 or 5 years of writing on backup… I wrote…
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Damage is Done…
The above picture was the start of it, those dark spots on my skin from my head to my feet are bruises and I wasn’t even 6 years old and Freda took a 2 inch thick upholstery ruler to my little body… So the damage was done and nothing I could do as life continued……
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Riots on Okinawa… timeline updated…9:40am
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2011/12/17/general/military-policemans-hobby-documented-1970-okinawa-rioting/#:~:text=Military%20policeman%E2%80%99s%20%E2%80%98hobby,S.%20forces%E2%80%99%20presence The above link is an article on said riots and I have one big problem with all this??? I don’t remember much, if anything about the riots and I know we were there when they happened… According to the Kubasaki class of 72, this is my picture for the senior class, only one problem……
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RAPE… the silent 4 letter word…
I wasn’t even a teenager the first time I was sexually assaulted by an adult… Because of that assault, I ended up with what is called IC, interstatial cyctitis… A painful condition that impacts the bladder and because of the bacteria created, you learn there will be many foods you can’t eat… ie, anything with…
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She Won’t Remember Anything!!!???
When did this conversation happen and where and who???????? Lets do a memory trip…. Don is already on Japan and we are waiting in CA outside Travis AFB for our tickets to join him and we had spent time with Aunt Aileen and she permed my hair, which had been long and this was after…
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Reliving it in my Waking Hours…
Recently, instead of me having PTSD nightmares, now I am seeing the moments in time from the past while I am wide awake… Oh yea for reliving abuse!!! I woke at 1:30AM in pain and that pain, is exactly where Don hit me on Okinawa in Naha AFB housing and knocked me across the room…
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Neuroplasticity…??
Understanding Long-Term Recovery Neuroplasticity: The brain can find new pathways and restore function decades after an injury like a hemorrhage. Delayed Symptoms: Cognitive fatigue or “fog” can persist when neurovascular coupling or autonomic systems struggle to compensate over time. Contributing Factors: Shifts in overall health, lifestyle, or aging can sometimes change how the brain manages…
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Amnesia is not Memory Loss???
Do you remember in detail or general information??? Ever do a police line up and have to identify someone, based upon your memory and how often were you right??? One thing about this journey to remember… It’s not text book in any way, it’s not even text book per Freud… Why??? Because according to the…
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Kiss’s Sweeter than Wine… corrected…
Not a country western music fan, though I know a few old ones, the ones I would do for Karaoke… Patsy was a favorite… My checkup is coming soon and so far the kid and I have said hi, refill this, oh jab me, blood sucker it is and have a nice day… that won’t…
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On the Road to Reasoning…
When I decided I didn’t want to smoke cig’s anymore… I was ready to quit cold turkey… only problem… Homer was a smoker and he wasn’t so ready to quit… Well, we are in Arkansas and I ask the VA for that drug that helps you quit smoking and yep, I gave it to Homer…
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Once Upon A Time…
To a child, their shadows are short, but when they look upon an adult, that shadow can become very big and very menacing… Understanding mental illness, when you are only a year old is a wakeup to reality on a scale of going for a swim and not knowing how to swim, but somehow… You…
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Why Life Happens…
As a survivor, at one time, a very long time ago, long before I walked away from man’s made up god of rape… I asked??? Why??? Why me??? Why, WHY, WHY???? Freud couldn’t even answer those questions, because Freud doesn’t live in your head, he extrapolates and analyzes and reasonbly guess’s at why humans do…
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Decades to get medical answers… Why So Long?? Ever skate at Tachikawa, Japan???
Your right-side stiffness when walking is likely caused by post-stroke spasticity, a condition where continuous muscle contraction makes limbs rigid and resistant to stretching. [1, 2] When you had a stroke at age 14, it damaged the areas of your brain that control movement and muscle tone. Even years later, the pathways between your brain…
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Why only the left Side???
When Freda beat me, I was little… In fact my nickname growing up was Olive Oil or Skinny weeinie, because I was skin and bones and not because I was denied food… My body was in constant healing mode and what little I did eat, rarely sat well… That goes on to this day… I…
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Final Piece to the Puzzle… corrected dates edited…
Managing the long-term effects of a pediatric central spinal cord injury requires a highly tailored approach, especially when dealing with asymmetric upper limb weakness and severe muscle knotting. The “knotting” you describe in the shoulder muscles is very frequently a combination of neurogenic spasticity (involuntary, sustained muscle contractions caused by disrupted spinal signals) and secondary…
