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#85… Which??? Stroke or Head Trauma???
How many times have you hit your head??? Concussion(s) in me, we figure about 20+… We know of the TBI on my right frontal lobe… We know of the bleed on the right side of the brain… We know, no plaque or atrophy…. So??? How many times did I lose memory because of head injury,…
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#84… What is different???
Can you spot the difference… Evidence via school pictures… There is a difference between those years caused by domestic violence… It took me 57 years to catch the change… I wrote about it😉 Can you tell me what the difference is between 5 years old and 17?.? Thank you migraines🥴 I remember… copyright protected 2026…
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#83… Evidence…
Pain!!!! It is really what got the ball rolling and it was obvious I was having pain and weakness and all sorts of issues when I was active duty and no one could figure it out, only because… Freda… Every time I called her and asked about my childhood illness or injuries she said the…
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#82… Please stop spinning!!!
Myelopathy is a neurological disorder caused by the compression or injury of the spinal cord. It leads to widespread symptoms like pain, muscle weakness, numbness, and poor balance. Left untreated, it can result in permanent nerve damage, making timely diagnosis crucial. I keep forgetting, I am the one that made the diagnosis and the neurologist…
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#81…Anger, Hate and Fear…
Living with rage, especially when the shrinks get it wrong and make you a hostile patient… You and health care providers may not see eye to eye… I had a doctor fire me as a patient, another doctor I fired, told me the TBI damage was a tiny spot on the brain, (yea I saw…
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#80… I Don’t Remember Her…
Holidays always bring us together and some of us… Prefer the quite of home and then you have 3 puppies and there went that idea… On Japan, Johnson AFB housing… (Air Force Base) I knew a girl named Robin Ackley… We were in high school together and to be honest with you… I have zero…
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#79… Nobody wants to Party!!!
PTSD nightmares are never fun and if you have had as much brain trauma as I have, well… That brain can go into overdrive with the PTSD nightmares!!! Last night as we watched, “Hail Mary”, 2 pups in my lap, Homer had the other and we could hear the fireworks all around us going off……
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#78… How Fragile are You???
Mental health for me, isn’t something that should be hidden… Why??? Because I believe in the testing and I was made to undergo extensive psychological testing and none got it right, until??? PTSD was recognized as an actual issue… No Instead, they label you and boy do they enjoy labels… The shrinks that is… I…
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#77… I had Their Respect???
Yea, this journey is coming to an end and I find it remarkable how the brain adapts to reality, when the world you created wasn’t exactly a bed of roses… Freda had 7 children, the oldest was my half brother and he was 3 years ahead of me… then came 5 more, the youngest… 3…
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#76… All Signs say Stroke!!!
IF you ever had a stroke, you’ll know exactly where I am coming from and if you got medical help… Well I never have, not once… The MRI shows that I had at least one brain bleed… We don’t know for sure how many I have had, because without doing a test where they measure…
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#75… Gobsmacked???
When you are given a gift??? Is it really a gift??? Yesterday getting the email from the court and lawyer was a surprised and it wasn’t… One thing about the blog… I know where people are reading from… Now before you panic, I know the country and If I wanted to narrow that down, yea,…
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#74… One, two, buckle my shoe… three, four out the…
Freda had a set of encylopedias… Us dirt poor, but we had those and one of the very few pleasant memories I have of her… She is reading us nursery rhymes and stories… Larry wasn’t in the picture, it was just me and sis and I remember it was pleasant… Fight or flight is something…
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#73… We ALL Have A Story…
I get the biggest kick out of my neighbor… She is African American, RN who works for the VA as a nurse to patients that are home bound and she is 2 years older than my oldest boy… and she still has kids at home… Impressive young lady… I imagine by now she thinks I…
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#72… Stop the Spinning!!!
Ever wake up in the middle of the night and find that your bed is spinning so fast, you want to throw up??? I got to go for that ride last night… I have lived with this issue since the central spinal cord injury before the age of 2, thanks to mother (Freda)… By the…
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#71…Long Road Traveled…
Where do I start or begin with this one..?? How do I convey what I am feeling or experiencing…?? Until the memory trigger in 2017… at which time I was 63 years old… I did the people pleaser routine and by the time Homer and I moved to Hawaii, that was dying a rapid death,…
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#70… Life long Stroke fatigue!!!
When granny Cooper died, I was living in Moreno Valley and her death, San Diego, so… I got in my car and went and helped with the funeral and family… Which is very very big… During all that commotion… My cousin Billy Rae, stated… “Maggi can fall asleep anywhere”… Now I hadn’t seen my cousin…
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#69… Deleting a File…
Psychology says forgetting some things in life is not necessarily bad and I couldn’t agree more… I didn’t go out of my way to not remember my childhood out of fear or anything… Essentially after the bleed on Japan with subsequent beating… My brain deleted files and I have yet to find them… I always…
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#68… Trapped between Worlds…
Living with amnesia, not a neurological problem I wish upon any human… I have dreamed of waking from this nightmare of walking between two worlds, since the stroke at 14… The bleed at 14 would take everything I ever held dear and I would fight my night time demons that would roll across my mind…
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#67… What Shuts You Down???edited
I remember going back and looking at my report cards, that, for some reason, Freda kept, but I didn’t see many of my other 6 siblings records and that set off my spider senses… and I asked myself… WHY??? Like everything with this blog, it all goes back to the memory trigger of 26 innocents…
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#66.. Confusion is in the brain…
Brain farts happen to all of us and when you are a senior, you go, oh no… dementia… Well, I had my MRI and neuro tests… Brain farts go hand in hand with all the crap that happened, TBI, Concussions, Brain Bleed(s)…. Like not remembering my childhood and knowing I have gaps in my memory….…
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#63 PTSD where are YOU????
Yesterday we celebrated our 32nd anniversary and I had saved steaks I bought last year for our dinner, so we were excited to have a meal, we rarely get and enjoy our day, then it happened… I get an email from Dr. Cooper’s office, the doctor that told me to go use my “FREE VA”!!!…
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#62 WTF happened to my Weepy???edited
The medical pot is good, it’s not high end or anything, we can’t afford that, but!!!! What the hell happened to my weepy??? For years, I struggled to control the tears, didn’t matter if it was pain or emotional or a movie or a TV Ad… Weepy could have been my middle name and I…
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#61…Escaping out of my own HEAD???
Good morning world, hope your night was good, ours was rock and roll lightning and thunder with subsequent down pours… Sleep, sleep was elusive, but, I woke up any how… Empathy, to me, was never a gift, it was more a curse and to learn how to control those urges and to monitor those actions,…
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#60 Quickie Flash Back…
By quickie, I mean it’s a short story, that happened when we left that little Arkansas town in 2008 and we unloaded all the new furniture we bought for that little house we owned and my hairdresser, who happened to be a friend with my youngest sister… is part of this quick story… That’s a…
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#58… All I want, is to Remember!!!
Good morning readers and thank you, from all over the world for picking my blog back up and reading it… One thing about amnesia, it gives you no breaks or chances or anything… Either you regain memories or you walk through life with a gaping hole in your memory world… When I realized I was…
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#56 Can YOU Lie???
How tired are you of being lied too??? How often do YOU lie??? Can you make it through the day without lying??? Telling the truth is a choice, so is lying… With lying comes deceit and with deceit comes crime and with crimes comes death… All because of a “LIE”… and that is a fact…
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#55 Wrong Side of the Tracks???
Over in India, which, before you bash me, thats where my great great grandmother is from; they have a Cast system and even in the 21st century, that barbaric system, not unlike the white nationalist christian system, is in place today… Being told your place??? That’s been the crux of our civilization???!!! Someone, anyone thinking…
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#54 Who is Keeping Score???
My discharge from the military, based on bogus junk, other wise, how did I get 100% from the VA??? So, yes there is a story, but it comes much much later… this is circa 1983 and I am a walking drug store by the time 1988 comes around, so what happened??? When I got out…
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#53 My Guiding Light…
What’s your go too?? Religion, a god that no one will ever see, meet or greet or do you have a influencer on the internet or is it your brother or sister or maybe a mom or dad or grandparent??? None of those are my guiding light… Not every day is filled with doom and…
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