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Is SARS on Japan in the 80’s the answer???
After the memory trigger I started pushing for answers and by the fall of 2019, I was getting a contrast MRI and it showed the holy grail!!! Moderate TBI on the right frontal lobe and the brain bleeds were also on the right side of my brain… Throw in over 20 concussions and you got…
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He Wasn’t Always Violent…
I remember as I lay there, only 5 years old and the nurse checked my temperture and I looked up at him and said, “I am being a good girl, aren’t I daddy”??? His look was one I never forgot, even after the brain traumas and the brain bleeds… I remember his expression and I…
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Moving Forward…
For decades I dwelled in the past and the future had no light or existence for me, but I kept striving to find that future, not realizing… I had to move forward and quit looking backwards… My heart aches for every American fighing a war that was caused by a child rapist, but then you…
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Why Didn’t I Write About You???
I told my granddaughters very young, sex was something to be enjoyed and used for your own pleasure and not for the benefit of others… I also told them their bodies were there’s and not someone else’s plaything… That being said as an introduction into sex, how many lovers have you had and do you…
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When Darkness became Light… edited
I can’t count how many people over the years have told me I am up beat, sunshine, happy go lucky and I realize… Maybe they are right and I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, because of decades of depression… I don’t feel depressed… I feel tired and I know that will always be…
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Air Force….
49 years ago I prepared to leave my newborn son and my 3 year old toddler and head for an adventure I had no clue, just how crazy, wild, insane or corrupt it would be… and somehow survive it all… I had my 2nd child June 20, 1977… After a 10 month pregnancy, appendix removed…
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I Never Asked Them Questions!!!
IF you have been lucky enough to read the old blog before I shut it down this spring or you have read what I got out there now… You know I have a major issue with time lines!!! Doing my morning thing and I stop in the middle of the room and start talking to…
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Standing Still… Mother May I???
How many games did you play as a kid and were ya any good at it or was it fun no matter who won or lost??? I liked winning, but I also know the draw backs of winning… Sore losers will get retribution in any form they can… Case in point… Playing poker and the…
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You Feel the Eyes, but Can’t See Them…
Camping was my favorite thing to do, with little costs and much reward… Now camping is a distant memory as I gaze at the 5th wheel we bought for trips to Disney World, then dementia entered our world on official terms… As Homer slips into the exclusive world of dementia, I ask questions… Questions I…
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Shivering Won’t Quit!!
How is your ability to deal with pain??? I know Homer’s is no where near my ability, but he is a man and men are the weaker sex, becuase if they weren’t, they would be doing the child bearing… When the shivering starts, I will end up outside, no matter how hot it is and…
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When Shit Hits that proverbial FAN!!!
How’s your day going??? I got up, waited on Homer and once he was up and ready, we hit the floor running errands before it gets any hotter and it went down hill from that point on… Diesel was $5.15 a gal… Just putting in $50 bucks only brought me to 3/4 of a tank……
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Edification, Justification or Out to Lunch???
I ask that question because if I don’t, I am not progressing, I am stagnating… None of what has transpired since the memory loss was easy by any means…. I lived what every neurological disease you can imagine, fighting my way out of chaos… Chaos much like what religion and republicans are fueling as profiteers….…
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Yes, She Was Living in Bonita!!!
If you have read the blog that I have done off and on since 2017… You know… timelines are my nemisis and boy do I hate time lines!!!! Thinking about Bonita and our staying there while Don was in Vietnam, got me to thinking about more of that time line and granny was living there…
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War Deployments & your Family??? Date correction..
This is one of those Eureka moment’s in my memories and this is crucial because…. It was before Texas, but after near death # 1… So what has me all in a twitter??? FREDA!!!! We owned the trailer… It was probably 40 or 50 foot long and it’s kitchen was in the front with a…
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They “are” doing it by Design!!!
Who is they and what are they designing??? CHAOS!!! I noticed this morning as I scrolled social media and did some positng and comments, I felt it start and I thought, Okay, here we go and why??? The tension was building inside me and the anger and the disgust and the feeling of defeat… All…
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Don’t Worry, be Happy… Dream…
Homer has ability and intellect I don’t and I likely never will… He has interests, that once caught my eye, but quickly got bored with… Homer likes puzzles… Be it words or pictures, he likes solving the puzzles… For me it is a tedious task that doesn’t stimulate me in anyway as there is no…
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Japanese Binjo Ditch’s….
Never fall in one it is not sweet smelling☺️
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Apology Not Accepted!!!
Minimizing someone is exactly the hallmarks of an abuser or rapist… Doesn’t matter what walk of life you or the abuser are in, if they try to minimize you in any way… They are an abuser… My mother Freda Bagwell was that way… She would go out of her way to make anyone that was…
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Life after Death???
Trying to not spew my coffee every which direction with that above title!!! I died at the hands of my sister at 8 years old and I died at the hands of my father at 13 years old… I got to walk with death, I got to meet death and I got to converse with…
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Why Did She Do It???
Amazing how the mind wanders when you are exhausted and wander mine did… and of course it’s about Freda… Why did she put me in the WILL??? Why involve me in the end if I was to be denied being by her side by the people she thought she could trust…??? I keep going back…
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Grant me the Ability??
Every time I see some dumb ass saying, that some human said, I wonder??? Was it a need to share or a need to say, or see how smart and clever I am??? Agendas…. Everyone has one, inluding those who made up what ever it is you believe to be real in your world… I…
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Wakeup came early
Sleep is elusive as this moves out over the water…. Copyright protected 2026 Oui vay🙃
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Never Known a Pain Free Day, Ever…
When the stroke hit at 14 and I said the mantra: Hair brush, TV interview, Boobs, New baby, Japan… I was only 14 and I had never known a day free of pain, ever… The hair brush she hit me with before I was a year old started the nerve damage and oh my, I…
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Can you Refrain???
Impulsive behavior is extremely normal with brain trauma and you can also exhibit the opposite and do what I call the, “the motor mouth syndrome”… Which is a by product of PTSD… Psychology says those of us who have a smart ass remark about everything and are the products of domestic violence, do it because…
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Life is about one thing only, “Your Choices”…
Have a wonderful day…. I remember… copyright protected 2026 all rights reserved©️
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Paint by Number…
I can remember bugging my mom for one of those you could paint by number and I tried several times over the years until, I quit trying… I never could hold the brush steady, same with doing anything with my hands… Freda fractured them when I was 5 and she busted the knuckles on both…
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Floating on Air!!!
Cervical vertigo — also called cervicogenic dizziness — involves problems with your neck that cause you to have neck pain and dizziness. Your cervical spine (neck) plays a key role in balance and coordination. But if it’s inflamed, arthritic or injured, it can make you feel lightheaded and unsteady. This condition can occur following a…
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Imprinting or Memory???
Anyone who has read the blog for the last few years, I talk about memory and short term memory is my most frustrating issue I have… My long term memory is extremely good, but, if something associated with long term and short term intersect!!! No guarantee I am going to remember it and why is…
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Morning Surprise…
I know a great many of you in the U.S. have gotten post cards or actual paper checks in the mail from companies you did business with and they got sued and you got to be a part of a class action suit and all you had to do… Fill out the paperwork!!! We got…
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PTSD no longer has a hold…
As I wrote, last night was not a great night and it was because of these appointments this morning at the VA in Biloxi… I expected to be anxious and nervous and I expected it to go the way it should… My way… I left early enough to get a parking spot, with that 3500…
Rape & Domestic Violence Survivor of U.S. Air Force coverups... 