Impulsive behavior is extremely normal with brain trauma and you can also exhibit the opposite and do what I call the, “the motor mouth syndrome”… Which is a by product of PTSD…

Psychology says those of us who have a smart ass remark about everything and are the products of domestic violence, do it because it is our way of coping with said violence…

For some out there, that may be true, but in my writing, I talk about my humor as always being there and now I don’t think it was…

I think it was a product of the violence I experienced before the age of 1 and I think my way of coping, humor or sarcasm as it developed down the road…

This behavior has been a problem for me for decades, because, I am a introvert and Homer will tell you, I prefer, quiet, laid back, not social but simple environment with few people…

But thats not how I come across to people and my RN neighbor told me so…

She said I was upbeat, sharp and full of life and that statement a year ago has made me think…

Was it always so..??

Case in point, I was bitching in the commissary about prices and another woman chimed in saying she agreed with me and I realized… I have done this behavior all my life…

I didn’t refrain when I was dragged into the estate mess… I had been waiting decades to tell these self righteous bigots that say they are christian just how rotten and corrupt they all are… (I still think Freda put me in the WILL just for this purpose… she was twisted)… (and that money they all took, the posion off it will eat away at their souls, if they had one… chrisitans fake being good people)…

That time I didn’t refrain, nor did I refrain when I went after the El Paso VA director, I have a copy of that complaint and oh my did I rip new assholes in federal employees… It isn’t the entity that is corrupt, it’s your neighbors…

Refraining, when I get going is hard to do, but as Homer’s dementia progress’s, it is something I am learning to do…

The balancing act of living in my world at home and going out in public will be an interesting experiment for me…

Can I or can’t I keep my mouth shut… yea, I am laughing….

I remember…

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