The questions that I put before doctors, even before I entered the military in 1977… All of those questions!!!

I figured out… Just wow on this journey to remember and the real crux of all of it…???

Living with injuries you don’t know how you got them…. and that was my catalyst to get answers…

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I called Freda from all over the world, Italy, Japan to name 2 and all my calls when living in the states or on Hawaii and one thing never changed with those phone calls…

Freda…

She never told the truth one time and that includes times when my life was at risk… She kept her mouth shut, all in the hopes, her secrets would die with me… since Larry was not going to spill the beans… He was her slave and he died knowing he lost more than he ever knew, because of that loyalty to her, Freda… Mom….

My pregnancies were high risk for one reason only… I had mass adhesions from being beaten by Freda so brutally, she didn’t leave my insides or my outside unscarred…

By the time I left the military in 83, my small intestines was being strangled by adhesions, those same adhesions caused a appendectomy at 6 months gestation and I carried the kid for 10 months… The Air Force denied me care and put it in writing and a year later on Japan the GYN surgeon was doing emergency surgery…

If my intestine had ruptured, I wouldn’t have survived… most people don’t… Tort claim 1 against the U. S. Government… well maybe 2, my death at Webb AFB, see early blog…

When Freda passed last year and I learned of my brother’s death… I knew my journey was coming to an end…

The last 2 surviving people that were there the night I died, were now gone and it was up to me to fight to remember what the stroke took on Japan in 1968 after that near death in Texas…(I don’t buy angels, song or gods… I was dead… )

Then the court thing happened because I wanted it to happen… I needed proof for what I suspected and they gave it to me in spades and showed me, as christians, they were the worse of the worse white trash…

Then the court clerk screams at me, and now, I think how unprofessional and maybe she has issues… or she’s a christian… either way, she help push me out of the fight or flight…

It’s been a interesting trip… One that has changed my daily routines, my thought process and most of all my attitude and one last thing… Not tolerating being questioned anymore…

Either you believe me or you can piss off… Just that simple… My world does not rely on my family, friends, readers, followers or health care professionals…

My world relys on what I think, how I feel and what I want out of my life… Anything else, is on whoever… Freedom is mine, and it’s not for the taking…

I wish I could transfer that knowledge to Homer’s brain, to help him fight for his life… so I guide the best I can, carefully…

Knowing and understanding everything I live with, old fractures, nerve damage, spinal cord damage, internal damage and brain damage and somehow… Like Freda always said…

I came out smelling like a rose… a rose that has thorns… So don’t question my journey… It’s not yours to quesstion…

I remember…

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