Sorry about the last write… But now you get an idea what it is like when memories rush in and they are me me me first type action and the brain is like, get in line or I am out of here…

It can be overwhelming and it is something that has been ongoing since the memory trigger in 2017… That one memory trigger, started the journey out of amnesia, and subsequent medical and psychological testing showed it…

When this happens, it turns my world into chaos in my brain and I don’t mean crazy like Trumps… No it’s organized chaos as the action that happened plays in a loop and when something comes through or gets through my thoughts, I resolve it… pigeon hole it… and it becomes 1 of many trillions of files in my brain that some how work together…

Now imagine, living that kind of chaos day in and day out from 1971 till 2017???!!!!!

Yea, most people would be addicts or drunks or gamblers or anything but dealing with that chaos that I lived with for decades and still functioned in society as a contributor, not a burden…

When I write like I did in #114… You get a front row seat into chaos of a injured brain…

Now supposedly, mine has done it’s thing after 60 years of healing and what I deal with now… Is the influx of memories that contribute mostly to what I already know…

That aha moment hasn’t happened yet and it may never happen… But as long as the brain does this chaos sorting party… I have hope I will remember…

I remember…

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and weather is turning ugly, we have a tropical building, so, more flooding… oui vay…