Thinking about my experiment on Blue Sky and with the blog, and I got a text from one of those people who touched my life, tho we never met… and he wished me happy mother’s day…

I accept what the neurologist on Hawaii said about my memory ability, but he was only half right…

This person I am talking about, I couldn’t remember the handle they used on BS and when it hit me this morning what it was, I went looking and couldn’t find him on Homer’s list… yet, the kid wished me happy mother’s day…

It’s when my memory hiccups like this, I am acutely aware of my brain trauma and how it will do this too me and just as fast, I have forgotten the BS handle the person had… but, I have his real name and phone number and it will stay active on my phone…

I don’t call people and bug them… Only because I don’t know what to talk about or say and after some phone conversations with my mother and sister back in 78… I really lost all interest in being on the phone with anyone… Pscyhology came into play and I knew I was walking a mine field with this choice…

My sons call, but not often or I should say text… All the kids know, I struggle to hear on the phone and our grand daughter found out, I am having hearing issues, when she visited a few weeks ago… Another thing to have tested… Yet after 30 years of ringing in my ears, I am not surprised…

What is the write really about???

Psychology tells us, some of us, who went out of our way, when younger to be inclusive, to be the gathering spot to be the advisor and mom and all the things that hold people together, well, we tend to walk away from that as we age and we realize…

What about, “me”???

My journey has come full circle, with the amnesia, injuries, disease’s, etc… and I am stepping back and saying, it’s about me finally, it has to be or no one will be here for Homer… (yea contradictions to the core, but reality)!!!

The wall I put up to protect myself as I journied out of darkness was not solid, it always had a opening into my world… but my world never had a opening into their’s… and thus, stepping back and realizing…

I am only one person, I helped and nutured and paid for in blood and money…. to help those in my life…

They won’t be there to do that for me, so the path I take now….

Is about me and what I want and what I chose….

The young mans phone number I have, it will stay in my phone… I will think of him on occasion and his lovely partner and yes I remember their real names, because I have a choice to remember, that no one allowed me before…

The day is up, errands to do, storms moving in and fatigue in the house… but a good kind…

I remember…

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