I was told by the Arkansas VA shrink I had this and I asked what caused it and he couldn’t give me an answer, but he is also the one who stated I didn’t trust anyone… So, yea, I didn’t go back to see him… The link to this is below…

The symptoms of depression can be complex and vary widely between people. If you’re depressed, you may feel sad, hopeless and lose interest in things you used to enjoy.

The symptoms persist for weeks or months and are bad enough to interfere with your work, social life and family life.

There are many other symptoms of depression and you’re unlikely to have all of those listed on this page.

Psychological symptoms

The psychological symptoms of depression include:

• continuous low mood or sadness
• feeling hopeless and helpless
• having low self-esteem
• feeling tearful
• feeling guilt-ridden
• feeling irritable and intolerant of others
• having no motivation or interest in things
• finding it difficult to make decisions
• not getting any enjoyment out of life
• feeling anxious or worried
• having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/depression

I lived with some of the these, but I was aware and I had my suspicions about why I had depression, but I needed proof and I wouldn’t get that proof until the MRI in 2019… The diagnosis of “Clinical Depression was in 2004″… That memory trigger played a huge part in breaking the cycle of depression…

It still happens, like the last few days, but was it triggered by the email Friday from the court or was it because my body still goes through a cycle, even though I had a hysterectomy at 24… and I am almost 72…???

Until it happens again and around same time… It could be either scenario… but depressed I have been and not motivated or wanting to get much done and having to force myself to engage and when you have a patient in your home, it’s not good to let this kind of stuff intrude… So I will figure it out…

I told Homer if the courts let the niece distribute the estate, then some how, some way, I am sending it all back to the court…

I don’t do blood money… and most of all…

I can’t be bought…!!!

Yes, we could use a couple extra grand right now, but just thinking about it makes me gag…

If the court rules in my favor, we have already discussed how I would use my share and it won’t be staying in our home… We have already selected a place in that little town to donate the money too… a place we donated a bunch of stuff too, when we moved in 10… A place that will help others…

Regardless, waiting on the judge to either let me do an investigaiton or let the half sister and her family get away with elder abuse…

I have nothing left to loose in this mess… I lost the only brother I had a relationship with, the other 5 siblings… chose a god…

I remember…

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