Coming out of this darkness that I have walked since the last bleed on the brain at 17 years old in 1971… is like watching a rose open up it’s petals as the flower smiles at the sun…

I remember as a child telling my granny that my legs hurt… and her comment, “those are growing pains”…

It actually was restless leg syndrome and I wasn’t even 8 years old… Central spinal cord injury before the age of 2 by mom, cemented those symptoms for life… 69 years and counting…

I remember telling mother that something hurt and she responded, “something more will hurt if you don’t quit whinning”… (my arm was broken from the beating at 5 years old)… I knew, not to complain… I was only 5 and learned that lesson…

I remember telling mother that I had a couple complaints before I turned 8 years old…

I learned to get even with my memory and my mouth…

Memory has been fruitful, thanks to the courts, thanks to the siblings and thanks to my mother’s death…

I always said it wouldn’t be over till she was gone, and giving her residence in my brain, it’s coming to a end…

I remember telling the military doctor’s of this weakness and that issue and so many other things and they tried, but Freda (mom) kept lying, and I didn’t remember… so those doctor’s gave me advice… (I was stubborn)…

This would go on up till Hawaii and in 2019 I finally got that MRI of the brain, and the memory trigger in November of 2017, meant so much more… Because, I was remembering…

Every day, I deal with weakness in all my limbs and have dealt with those issues, since my mother injured my spinal cord before I was 2 years old and some how, this brain I was born with…

Got me here 72 years later… Figuring it out, understanding I live with injuries, not a illness…

I push, I push my brain to go to all the places I avoided and feared… I push myself to face the PTSD nightmares that the courts have triggered and I push to face all the fears I walked with since that spinal cord injury… That’s a lot of tension leaving this house…

Because I am pushing myself to go where I don’t want to go… hasn’t changed the amnesia…

But I no longer walk in shadow…

I remember…

copyright protected 2026 all rights reserved©️