Going to take my life and do what??? Live??? or Die???

As a child that question entered my mind so many times and when the near deaths happened, I prayed to mans god to take me and when, “it”, didn’t, I knew, mans god was nothing more than a human with a set of balls and a little tiny dick…

For real!!! How many lovers have you had???

Most the males I have taken down, not worth my time a 2nd time around and they found that out…

Men are not special, well maybe special stupid when it comes to women, but hey, somebody has to be good at something!!!!

No nightmares, no dreams that I remember and all sleep, at least that is what my body says is happening…

I wake up thinking and just as quickly wish I could go back to that dark sleep that just eluded me, but, no nightmares, no PTSD drama or anything else… In fact!!!

You could say, the Bagwell clan no longer takes up residency and probably never will again…

What ever Dr. Wolett did to Freda, it made her more of a coniving psycho and her children didn’t fall far from that tree…

I wish I could say more memories have come back, instead what is happening, all those 7 + decades of life, well, it’s a family gathering in my head on, I remember and some of it makes me blush, because, well, a girl has gotta have fun…

I live for today, like the little plaque on my wall and I will continue to live for the day as each one opens for me and embrace it, enjoy it and hopefully survive it for the next day….

The last few weeks have been very rough for Homer and me, but mostly Homer and he tells me yesterday he is glad I am here and I look at him and ask, but who is here for me… Just keeping it real…

I wonder what it will be like to live alone with just 3 young puppies and I know, what is coming won’t be my hardest journey, but it will be the loneliest…

Losing my best friend to Lewy Body was never on my bucket list…

Today we finish cutting the steel door, so It will latch onto the new hot water heater and we are done… Nothing more to do to the 5th wheel, but hope it sells and word of mouth, we are getting people asking questions when we are outside…

So any natural disaster where people lose homes or rv’s they are living in, I got a 2 bdrm with loft in a 40 ft fifth wheel, just fly over southern Mississippi and look for the for sale on top of the 5th wheel, yea we did put 2 up there, we are under the flight path and low flying aircraft can see the signs… yea I am laughing…

Neighbor tells me he is building a 6,000, 4,000 and 3,200 sq foot homes and any chances of him bringing in equipment to fix the drainage, not going to happen is my guess, so, all those trees we bought this year, all drowned by Arthur, they couldn’t get oxygen from sitting in water… So we are done with landscaping on this property…

Nothing else ongoing… I am finally feeling better after over 10 days of norovirus and that’s normal for someone like me with compromised lungs, Homer, he was done in 3 days… Not me!!!!

Have a wonderful day, I have coffee waiting and the pups are too quiet at 5:55AM…

I remember…

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