Now if it is me on a horse, ever since the nerve damage got bad and that was by the time I was 18, I couldn’t grasp a horse with my bare legs, I knew then something was off, but was young and didn’t care and I usually ended up tossed by said horse over it’s head and landing on my ass…

Last time was a cattle roundup in Okanogan county around 93 and yep, the horse tossed my ass… but that isn’t what this write is about!!!!

I just got a text from the VA telling me I have an appointment and if you read the blog, or the old blog, you know going to a VA facility sets my blood pressure off at 200/100 and it did it 3 times in a row and they decided that my care should be outside the VA before I have a major stroke…

PTSD was rearing it’s ugly head…

Well that text comes in and my heart races and I start to get up to look at the calendar and know I never wrote the dental appointment down, so, I sat my ass back down, texted back the code for more info and it came back dental clinic!!!

I confirmed for next week…

If I have made as much progress as I say I have made out of these decades long PTSD, only way to find out???…

Go to a VA facility and see if I go into fight or flight and if I don’t, then it’s all about me dealing with my choice of having care at that facility and my reconciling my past abuse by said clinics be it military or VA or private care…

It’s a step in the right direction…

Opportunities have been presented to me once again, in my social life, in my writing… now the opportunity to face my PTSD issues with the corruption of people in federal government…

We will need many new people filling jobs that those who were loyal left, but some that stayed are the problems we are facing now with appropriate care and understanding for all veterans…

Next week will be a test of just exactly how far I have come in the last few months…

The estate drama in the end, brought me full circle and the healing, well, hopefully that will be reflected in my writing…

I remember…

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