Back around the fall of 23, we joined Blue Sky and it was an experiment for me, to see if I could tolerate the shinangans of the internet… Never been a fan and I still am not a fan… When I closed my page down on blue sky, I was impressed with the number of followings and dismayed… I didn’t go looking, people picked me up and that was either because of my sarcasm or interest in something else…

But I said on numerous occasion’s, it was an experiment and one I knew if it worked the way I saw it going, I would have to shut everything down, I just didn’t know how weird the experiment was going to go…

I didn’t know how I would handle it…

I always told my sister, It wouldn’t be over till she was dead (Freda), how wrong I was… It wasn’t over, till I had to get involved, once again…

I know more than I let on when I write or when I conversed with my birth family… As a good detective will tell you… Give them a taste and they’ll keep coming back… and they played right into my trap…

Both Don and Freda asked me to be executor of their estate’s… I didn’t really get why, till Don told me what he thought of each of his off springs, including the one that wasn’t his and I agreed with him on 3 of them, but the other 2, wasn’t much of a surprise when dealing with cowards…

As for the experiment… When my son reached out to me to pass on Freda’s phone number, another story in it’s self, I was pissed, but I knew… If she wanted me to have that phone number, things were changing for her and she was scared… That was within 4 years of her death…

I also knew, I made a choice a long time ago, after my memory trigger in 2017… Give them a chance to own what they did and we may have some kind of relationship… If they chose to not own their part in the domestic violence… then, they didn’t need me in their lives… They had what they wanted… They owned me for a very short time in life and they hold onto that small victory of violence to the grave, as I live on…

Experiments never go exactly how you expect and I thought, once she passed that would be it… but there was another lesson for me to learn and that involved the 5 living siblings left and that lesson, would leave a very foul taste in my mouth… but a much calmer me would come out of it…

The experiment also involved social media… There are intellectuals on there and I interact with some, but because I don’t have that degree or know the terms or words I am dismissed…

But, like all things, this isn’t just about me… I am married, he has dementia and every day is a day we make memories or I want to kill him… It can be borderline on that one… but those frustrations give way to, it wasn’t important, it wasn’t a big deal, it was a moment in time that gave me pause and I am learning to let those moments be reminder of what I have to watch for to protect him…

The blog as it is now, gives a back story to what I will be writing next and I am still trying to figure that out… I don’t plan to bring Adorable Spite back to blue sky, even with all those follower’s… the adorablespite.com isn’t the main character in the story…

I am…

I remember…

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