You never know how truly angry you are, until you are pushed past the point of no return…

When I learned my mother had been in hospice and not one of my 5 siblings informed me… I knew… Don (dad’s) words came to past… He was 100% accurate about the children he abused… but he went to his grave thinking, he really didn’t do wrong…

I have MRI’s and a host of other evidence that says he was abusive in a violent way… but he wasn’t the first… no that was the other one’s job… Freda (mom)…

Lets journey back to before Don died, while we lived in that little town and between trips to Washington to care for Homer’s dad, fighting stage 4 cancer, we helped with my dad…

Every time I went over to the house, which really wasn’t often, never felt comfortable in that house I help pay for and I would always have a scientific barb for Freda against her religious rhetoric and I would lean down to Don in his recliner and give him a hug and a peck on the cheek…

Freda never got such treatment… Even in 2005, I knew, but didn’t remember… She was the true villian… Hard to believe such a petite little woman can be so violent, but she left her marks all over my body…

Even by the time Don died, I could feel the change happening and I could feel my confusion…

Then El Paso VA screws up on the operating table, causing some weird thing with the anesthesia and my brain was and still is healing from trauma decades old… took till this last year for those cob webs to go away and the surgery was 2011… Never will a VA touch me on the operating table!!! NEVER again!!!!

So I knew with Don dying, and what he had told me, he was giving me the best he could…

The man was a coward and a bully and that blow to his head at Gunter AFB back around my 8 year old age, started his sundowners and eventual decline into dementia…

I treated him accordingly, even though he had beaten me to death, I treated him with kindness… She manipulated him for decades… I live it now with Homer, it’s not hard and we are over 20 years in on dementia…

With Freda, I tried, I couldn’t stand to be around her… I knew, deep down the memory that was missing was violence only she did and she never wanted anyone to know, just how mentally ill she really was… She was a consumate actress, to all, but me…

I gave her the opportunity to own what she did, before her dementia decline got worse and I would have been there to protect her like Don wanted…

She could never own her life and subsequently her oldest son cut her off and died a few months before her, another tragic story, because of christians…

I will never understand Freda or Don, because of the choices they made…

With Don, dementia is what it is and Freda used it to control her world, I could never do that to Homer… I am too brutally honest and he will agree…

It is truly sad what happened… She had a fortune for her lifetime and her children spent it…

I can’t even begin to imagine her mindset, but scared, she probably was towards the end, because she got the worse of what she practiced…

I remember…

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