What do you struggle with daily???

Is it over eating??? Is it drinking too much booze??? Is it the medical pot???

What do you struggle with daily???

Mine, goes all the way back to Okinawa and 1971… and I complained of a issue with my posture after I saw my mother (Freda) do some exercises and those exercises for some odd reason seemed familiar to me… I was 17 years old and this was before Don (dad) knocked me across that living room…

1971 and I struggled to maintain my posture and what was happening was because of the central spinal cord injury when I was a toddler… We know I was hit with a object and the best I can remember, in her rage Freda shook me, like they find in shaken baby syndrome, thus the central spinal cord injury… So it was actually a double whammy on injury as a toddler and yes, children as young as 1 year old can have memories… Depends on your brain when you are born…

Anyhow…

Well after the injury as a toddler, Freda went on and beat me at 5 and pictures have been provided in earlier blogs… Then the incident at 8, when I died the 1st time along with another beating… Then 13, when Don beat me to death… Then 14 when I got beat again and had the stroke, bleed on the brain…

So…. at 17… I am struggling to understand why I am doing what I am doing… So??? What am I doing and doing it to this day???

Sticking my ass out… Yep, Instead of pulling my hips and ass in alignment, I have always had a slight bent forward from the waist up, because??????????????????

When I stand up straight and have proper alignment, my legs go 100% numb, I have zero feeling below the waist and I have lived with that, since I was a toddler and still served in the Air Force…

So what happens, when I force myself into proper posture, I have to adjust my waist and hips and ass ever so slightly, so I don’t put pressure on the damamged nerve and spine area and I can still feel my legs…or at least know they are there!!!

I do exercises that PT taught me on Hawaii back in 18 and 19 and they work… I do exercises to make the thigh muscles strong enough to hold me as I sit, wait for it….. on the toilet and not hit the floor… I do the exercises…

Just so I can walk….

All of this, is from domestic violence and I have an estate court hearing next month and I am supposed to have love and charity and kindness in my heart… When all I got is full blown rage…

Because I have to fight every minute of my life… To walk and have had too since I was a year old…

Yea, I am angry today… Angry, because every time I got out of bed, the room spinned like I was on a merry go round… I am angry because people like Trump and his cult are the reason my life is the way it is…

So I will never speak kindly of the dead that did this too me or the ones raping America… Superstions are for children…

The day is up, cooler, due to all the rain, and we are flooded again and it’s a mud puddle out back… Inside today for me and like I always do… I do my workouts, so that I never have to worry about not being able to do something…

Homer and I were there for our parents… We don’t expect anyone there for us… Our generation has different values, today’s kids from the 70’s & 80’s… Yea, lets not go there…

Have a wonderful day… I did my bitching for the issues I am dealing with… and hope, at least the dizzy stops…

I remember…

copyright protectd 2026 all rights reserved©️