We are now back in America… Japan and Okinawa had a lasting impact on my life… From the age of 14 till I turned 18, we lived in the Far East and I was given the opportunity to go back in 83…

By the time we are back in the USA, I had lost most of the first 18 years of memories… All because I had a second bleed on the brain after the blow at 17… Read in sequence to keep up or I guess, guess at what I wrote… (sorry I digress)…

I know it was another bleed, because the other reason’s for memory loss, don’t apply to me…

A… I didn’t fear Don or Freda…

B… I stood up to them and I wasn’t afraid of remembering all the horrible, violent abuse…

C… I wanted revenge and as a empath, I knew to let life do it for me… So I stayed friendly with the family… Even though, I really didn’t remember much about them until the memory trigger in 2017…

D… I didn’t have any kind of surgery under anesthesia, until my first pregnancy… by then, I had lost most of my youth…

When a brain bleed happen’s, it somthers your brain cells and if you recieve medical help and mental health, you’ll likely remember those memories that the brain bleed drowned…

I never got such care… I have my dependent medical records from that time period… Freda was a master con and she made sure health care professionals were not involved with my care??? Why you ask???

Photographic memory and she labled me, “the family tattle tale”…

When the brain bleeds happened that ability to do what I did, died with it and I am grateful, because remembering every little hateful, spiteful and disgusting thing my family did was not a gift…

Not being able to do that anymore, it didn’t kill it, it altered the way I make memories and the Neurologist I was seeing on the Big Island is the one that told me that… He didn’t think I had the edetic ability anymore, in a way he was right on both observations…

As a classic brain injury patient, what comes next for the next 20 years, was a wild ride of sex, and lots of it… Less inhabitions, and when you are painfully shy, losing those inhabiitions was an experience I don’t regret…

I blush about some of what I did, but no regrets… Those experiences shaped the woman I am now… and she not only roars, she bites….

I took the Air Force exam upon our return to the U.S. and flunked miserably and when that happened, I headed back to the house on Mather AFB and Freda is laughing her ass of, screaming, the Navy called, they’ll take you… (yea I don’t forget much, that was 1972)…

I passed on the NAVY… I knew with what ever I was living with, movement on ships would not be my thing and I really wanted to join the Air Force, but was totally boon doggled on how I flunked the test!?!?!?!?!?!

That was my first clue, something wasn’t right…

So I go off and leave home… I get raped at 19 and pregnant, that’s kid #1, total rocker too… Then I get married and that lasted less than a couple years… I meet another guy in the Air Force and we go to Italy with my toddler in tow and I get pregnant while we are camped out on the flight line after a major earth quake and a few hundred of us at Aviano, slept in tents, while damage was evaluated…

I come back from Italy, with complications…. Have appendectomy at 6 months gestation… Have to carry the brat for 10 months because of that and have induced labor… 6 weeks after his birth…

I am at basic training for the Air Force…

We have come full circle or have we???

I remember…

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