Ever since I was a kid, I had face blindness and this tells me, that brain trauma happened before I was 8 years old and that old fistula that ruptured at 14 on Japan after TSgt Don Bagwell beat me again… Left it’s damage behind…

Now imagine going in the military and you can’t even recognize the women in your squadron, let alone the technical instructor TI is what they were called… It was not a fun experience and I was happy to leave basic training, little did I know, the base I was going to was so small, less than 1300 people on permanent assignment, it was ATC Air Training Command base for pilots and they would come through like a train every few months…

Within a year of arriving at that base, I was gang raped by officers at a off base property and even though I had been drugged, the next morning I made sure, I imprinted on the faces of the men in that house and walk outside and I got a flat, and that gave me more time to watch my rapist act like nothing happened, he not knowing I had brain trauma, had no clue, that the drug they gave me, only made it impossible to move, but it made it possible for me to know who was raping me, one by one, by one!!!!

Humans are predictable and those men went to great lengths to ruin the reputation of a single mother of 2 toddlers, because, they were predictable, just like Trump is, like all maga are…

The clearer my brain gets and it is doing very well at doing just that and I can tell, now that I am fully aware of fistula’s, though I have lots to learn about it, but I can tell when the vessel in my head swells, I get a instant headache, my right eye feels swollen and my right ear will hurt real bad… and when it happens, the pot gets set down, I do what I can to eliminate any lingering coughing and if it’s super bad, I take tylenol…

The symptoms are predictable, because I have lived with them since the brain bleed outside Johnson AFB, in that old Japanese housing… I was only 14… I have 58 years of experience…

So I am making sure I document everything I can in the blog, because if I have another bleed, no guarantee’s I will survive and Homer will need the evidence to have a lawyer take the system on… He will be a millionaire and our kids will live high on the hog after he is gone… Lets hope I beat the system and get to enjoy that and not my kids…

So why the write…???

Predictable behavior by those who aren’t interested in promoting you, but want you to promote them and when I do, they never return the favor, so I quit… They think their agenda is more important than anyone’s agenda, when it comes to being a survivor… and I see that with many survivor’s, they think their story is more powerful than the next and the only problem…

They have all been repeated for centuries just so they can control vaginas… Walk in any church and you’ll find that teaching…

I have tried to promote other stories, and mention I remember them, but, they don’t follow back… I thought of bringing my adorablespite handle back on blue sky, but realize, what’s the point… Inclusion is what I tried before and it got me no where, so I came back online as me and still it wasn’t enough for those that profess to care about domestic violence or child abuse…

They are influencers for money, not support or caring about victims… I started muting them, because, they don’t talk about anything but putting you on their lists when they wanna grow numbers…. I could name names, but, again, if you aren’t smart enough to figure out you are being conned, not up to me to point out the error of your ways or thought process…

SOUNDS SO TRUMPISH, don’t it???

Anyway…. Inclusion is not something I ever really was a part of ever in my life, why, because when you are 100% honest, people don’t want you around unless they want you to call out someone or hold someone accountable, then they toss you like garbage, because you did the dirty work.. for them…

Yesterdays attempt at eating was good… Though doing chicken fried steak in the oven, didn’t quite work the way instructions said…

I am not a “Air Frying enthusiast”… so I took the meat and fried it in very little olive oil and it didn’t trigger any issues… So far… The rest of the meal was measured and we both used the new butter that is better for my pancreas, so far so good… No weight lost today…

My nights are long, but as long as I get a few hours of solid sleep, I haven’t had a nap during the day in over a week, so my body must be absorbing the food and the vitamins I am taking, I hope so…

As for this EPI thing with my pancreas, I was reading last night, (in between the double vision)… that they sell the enzyme over the counter but recommend you don’t buy it, it isn’t regulated and you don’t know for sure what’s in them and you really need to know what enzyme deficient you have, so far I found 3 that apply to the pancreas and the small bowel… Chemistry, not my strong suit…

According to the science, if I have this EPI and it’s bad, I’ll need the supplement by prescription and I will be on it the rest of my life… That doesn’t sit well with me, I hate popping any kind of pills, because I choke so often and have done that since my sister strangled me at 8 years old (love you bitch, NOT)!!!!

In 11 days or so from now, I was rescheduled to see the NP, since the doctor isn’t doing clinic on the day I was scheduled and that is so they can order the EPI test and after thanksgiving I’ll get results… I don’t poop on command… Blood they can get, poop, nope… just being real…

I can see the weight loss in my face and being that I am 72 years old, I am curious how much weight loss will take away from the aging my body is doing…

Well my day is up… as for people on blue sky, I know my brain is already forgetting the short time I knew them which was almost 3 years, but if I don’t keep people fresh, ya know in my face type thing, I will forget them as quick as I forgot my life’s history… Sometimes remembering isn’t worth my time and strangers, well, you really are not worth my time, because you have a life and so do I…

My day is up, my 2nd cup of joe is waiting and we are very cold… Have a wonderful day and don’t let outside sources tell you how to live your life or what to think or how to behave (lawfully) and just live…

We all impact each other, even if we never meet…??? How…

We live by one thing on this planet…

Choices…

I remember…

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