Breaking the Cycle of Abuse…

***That bucket of shit Freda said I always landed in, will never be around again…***

Good morning world and thank you for reading… Greenland is the only one not to hit the blog… So everyone else, thank you very much for taking time out to read…

This time it’s about abuse and breaking the cycle of it… Not only the abuse someone else bestows upon you, but, the abuse you heep upon yourself…

Working on this Pancreas health issue that has walked with me since the TV interview beating at 5 years old, and after 67 years, I have done things for myself, that have turned into abuse… Now how did that happen???

When I was a kid, I was always hungry and by the time the first near death happened in Montgomery, Alabama… I was thin as a rail… So at night, I got up and got me a slice of bread…

I always loved me some white bread, so fresh, you could mash it together and it felt like you were eating a whole lot more…

Well, that habit of getting up in the middle of the night went on for 66 years, until last November of 2025 and we adopted 3 puppies and they slept in the living room and that was the gate way to the kitchen… And last thing I wanted, was to play with puppies in the middle of the night, so late night snacks, came to an end…

I am okay with that…

Since last year, it’s been a process of figuring out, why so little sleep and this year with the ER visit, we now know, it’s the pancreas and for the last few weeks, I have been trying very hard to figure out what triggers my flare ups… and I think I know…

Sugar…

Pre diabetic for over 50 years until this last few years… Only because, I backed off on sugar in many ways, because of Homer’s heart health, but I still got my sugar in…

My coffee is black with sugar… My black iced tea, has sugar and the one munch I like at night, semi sweet chocolate chips has sugar and top that off, sugarless candy, has something in it, that will cause the same problems, even though, it’s not real sugar…

Well my tea ran out yesterday and I won’t be making anymore tea… As for the chips and sugarless candy???

Those just became my new targets and tonight, after supper, nothing but water and I mean nothing… Not even gum…

The only digestive issues I have had for the last few days, when we start to eat, the hiatal hernia will spasm, because of the first food sliding down, it is high up in my diaphragm and it hasn’t slid back down in decades… So that will be a issue until it does… Last scope showed it in this position, so that pain isn’t the same as the back pain after the front pain hits… Both feel totally different, I realize that now…

Weight wise, I am losing about half a pound to 2 pounds daily… Last 2 days have been half a pound, so, not moving much… The other days, I had what is considered a high amount of sugar… That’s what is changing tonight or today… A new experiment…

Chemistry is not my subject of interest, but it’s my understanding, that the sugar is what causes my high tryglicerides and going back over the years, even though it wasn’t a high amount, for my body, any amount was too much and I am now figuring that out…

I think that is the only thing keeping me from getting a decent nights sleep… Sugar… Sugar causes the bladder to work over time and it mess’s with the sleep… So hopefully the next few nights, I will see a change…

All that means… Nothing with sugar or caffeine after 5 pm, if it won’t be out of my system before bed and from what I have read, that means everything…

I really like my homemade oatmeal bars… but, lots of sugar…. Dinner rolls, 1/4 sugar… Looking more like wheat rolls for our supper because they only have a couple tablespoons of sugar….

I have a lot to learn about the food I eat, so my body can get the rest it needs… and balance that so Homer gets the foods he still likes…

Have a wonderful day… No nightmares, no family drama in my dreams, only looking for the sandman to make my nights a little better…

I remember…

IF you are going to use my writing for your own purpose, at least give me acknowledgement😉😘 ….