As a survivor, at one time, a very long time ago, long before I walked away from man’s made up god of rape… I asked??? Why??? Why me??? Why, WHY, WHY????

Freud couldn’t even answer those questions, because Freud doesn’t live in your head, he extrapolates and analyzes and reasonbly guess’s at why humans do what they do… Because if Freud was really the father of psychology it really begs the question, why is Trump in the white house???

Life happens for one reason and one reason only…

Choices…

Every choice I make will have an impact on many other’s who made choices and the reason that is, because, even with thousands of miles between us, we are all connected…

Example… What Putin is doing is impacting America… What Xi is doing is impacting America… and on and on and on… Just like what Trump is doing, is impacting the whole world…

Choices we made, have a ripple effect… So why the write???

I got to thinking about the message I got from Freda back in September of 2017…

It was a couple months before the memory trigger would happen and 26 innocents would be murdered and start my journey out of darkness…

When Freda contacted me, and Homer and I have discussed this a couple times… I told Homer, she will cut me off, the rest will follow suit, I will get nothing from the estate and I won’t be in the WILL…

Well I was right on everything but the WILL… Greed is a christians MO…

I thought back then how pissed I would be, but in reality, I was sad, because it showed my family; not my parents, not my siblings, had any critical thinking, let alone self awareness… and before you ask me how do I know I have it???

I been tested more times than I like and the last one was the nail on the coffin of the governments mishandling of my case… Oh you want the results???

Above average IQ and I suffered from PTSD due to my illness… The psychologist got it right except for the illness…

I suffer from injuries, I have no ongoing disease and never have had… I live with full body fractures, full body nerve damage, spinal cord injury, couple brain bleeds and a moderate TBI and internal injuries… oh and over 20 concussions…

I have no disease…

I have INJURIES!!!!

I should have been awarded 100% from the VA upon discharge and I should have been medically discharged… But the choices of those in charge were more concerned about Vance AFB reputation than they were about rape and attempted murder on a federal installation…

Choices… and those choices will never give me justice, or recognition for saving lives at Vance AFB, when I stopped the attempted murder of my kids… No, the choices these men made, are choices you and all of America are living by… Not a fun taste is it???

Well, enough rant… Sleep is good, pain is relative to the moment and life is what I make of it…

Have a wonderful day, it really is getting harder for me to put off the book work… The chaos is gone, the doubts are gone and the love I once had was buried in a avalanche of greed…

Christians, humans inability to be human!!!…

I remember…

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