When the shrink at El Paso and I talked, I told him I don’t live angry at people… I live angry at what I have to live with because of what people did to me… and I am laying odds, the Epstein survivors know exactly what I mean…

I am angry, because the pain has never stopped, the body won’t let me forget what was done and nor will my brain…

I am mad at my family for the senseless behavior and the greed and the malfesense of it all and if I spelled it wrong, get over it!!!

I am mad, because none of this should have happened…

Not my son borrowing money, though I have proof he paid her back… But the fact that you thought because of the abuse you were owed??? REALLY???? You were OWED???

OWED WHAT??????

That you can’t answer…

I started my mental health in the military and off and on over the decades I continued it… my last stop…

The neuro psychologist on the big island and he will get the book before anyone else, he was that much help in my journey after the memory trigger… and he so wanted to get into the psychology… I needed to do that part on my own… IQ has it’s advantage and it worked…

The last part of my journey happened this spring when I filed the court papers and the court clerk called me and screamed at me… Oooops… yea, I’ll keep the reason why private, I don’t want her to lose her job… but… it triggered the fight or flight that started when Freda first hurt me before I was 1 years old and that was a ride unto it’s self…

I talk about it earlier in the blog, how I shut everything down, wiped things clean so as not to hurt anyone’s reputations as most court filings are public in most states, but the clerk triggered something I needed to finish…

I talk about being tested for Cushings and I knew I had issues but not the disease and when I went through those couple months recently, it was a haze of everything you can imgaine and I had full memory recall of Texas, where I died, except for the part where I was out, gone… taking off with death and some idiot brought me back… yep that was a fun day and Homer was all ears…

So I don’t live angry because my body has been angry since the spinal cord injury Freda gave me…

I live mad or pissed because people come into my world doing stupid and expect me to go, okie dokie, let me bend over!!!! NOT ANYMORE!!!!

Yea the more I think about how this is all going down with Freda and the fact everyone knew her mental state… It sure stinks of conspiracy… and that’s going to take an investigation by a pro and that, I hope to use the estate money for, because I will petition the judge to give me authority…

Back to the basement of that 5th wheel 3 more connections to do… It’s hot…

I remember…

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