How’s your day going??? Our’s already a scorcher and I got the house closed up and as much stuff off power as possible… We have data centers in our state and well, I don’t want to be without AC… So back off on our usage to help out…

Homer and I were talking about the trees we lost this year and last year to drowning… and we had ordered 2 pecan trees this spring, twigs and they love the water, we also planted 2 red maples that like water, the crep myrtles, lost one to drowning the other 2 are thriving and out of 400 trees, that’s all that did survive… Everything else is dying because they drowned…

Anyway the reason for the write…

I had a good memory from my early childhood and it had to be around the time we spent 4 years in Alabama…

We, as a family, went out picking pecans at one of the farms and everyone was having a good time and I was eating them as fast as I was picking them up and the memory was gone…

No, before, no after, just the memory playing out as Homer and I talked about what to put in place of the drowned myrtle and the memory played…

This is from the first 14 years of life and though it isn’t a new memory, it was always there, just resting until it was needed and that makes me wonder???

Are there more???

That answer is yes…

Kansas at the fair thing and I got to dance with my dad, with my feet ontop of his…

It was before the TV interview beating… I never had a connection with him after that beating… He betrayed me, like he did all the kids in that family…

Does this mean barriers are coming down???

I don’t think so… I think this is only what I have always remembered and they just came out for an airing…

But then, the neurologist could be right, I never had photographic, I always made memories different from everyone else, because, the domestic violence started before I was a year old…

I have to be objective on this journey or I am shorting myself on any progress and throwing false junk into the mix…

Reality and being honest with myself is the only way to do this or I might as well start writing fiction and what I have lived, was long before Epstein was news… and really that group is old news and their is a lot more to it… I joke about the Hell Fire Counsel for a reason, lots of us were exposed and lots of us chose differently… I wasn’t always old…

Well that’s it… Good memories are there, far and few between, and not anything new, just getting a airing…

I will always hope I will remember what it is I am hunting for and that is every bit of the violence that went on from age 1 to 14… Because I know, it was a lot worse than my body is telling me, way worse…

I remember…

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