Good morning world!!! and no Trump isn’t dead… You and me and a few billion more out there are wishing his death and it can’t happen soon enough, but you figure they are hiding McConnell’s death, so, weekend at Bernies, will be weekend at the White House morgue???

Hell of a way to start off writing!!!

Stenosis, never heard of it, didn’t know about it… All I knew about was arthritis and RA…

But when the MRI in 2019 was done, that was the words they used for my neck and it does explain why, since I was a small child, it always hurt and it always popped and snapped and crackled… Now it jack knifes and when it does that, oh boy, who needs psycedelics???

I was a avid reader… When I had my breast reduction on 9/11… yea hell of a memory… I was doing it so my neck would quit botherhing me…

No one bothered to check for issues, no, the VA sliced and diced my breast and now they look awful… Surgeons at the Seattle VA should be embarassed, but hey, they got to experiment on someone!!!!

Well the surgery made no difference in my neck and when the MRI was done, we knew why… I had stenosis and had it since I was a teenager…

Some how, I knew instinctively how to live, and do things to make things better and that was all and good, till 2013… 2 years after the El Paso VA herniated said neck and that MRI was proof… and that shows, something did happen on the operating table, but getting a lawyer to sue the VA is like getting a lawyer to tell DOJ to fuck off… Just not happening… so they get away with malpractice and veterans get to live with the damage they cause…

When we moved out of our house in 02 and moved to Seattle, we packed everything up and we moved to Arkansas a year later… All those books went with us… I always hoped I would be able to tolerate reading again…

I gave away over a thousand books… Yea, I really loved to read… It was my escape, till my memory trigger in 2017…

I barely tolerate devices… I have to hold them at eye level, so that I am not bending my neck and if I forget, then I end up with inflammation up and down my whole spine and it could take weeks for the dizzy to quit… Because I caused it myself… Which I did recently and I am not on those devices as much…

Living with injuries, you adapt and you accept, somethings you can’t fix and you live with them and that sometimes means you give up something you really enjoy… So far because of the domestic violence, my injuries have taken away my ability to:

Dance…

Sewing…

Crochet or knit or do any needle work..

Make jewelery or any fine craft, I also made things in clay…

Play games on the computer and I am talking like Throne of Bhal 3…

Read and read until my eyes can’t see anymore…

I can’t do any of those things anymore, because I either can’t bend my neck or I can’t use my hands…

It’s not only my legs I shouldn’t be able to use, but my left side is getting progressively worse and weaker… I am assuming it’s the neuropathy that I have lived with since I was in the military…

So, I exercise, I have gadgets and devices I use to build muscle strength as the nerve damage progress’s…

Like with my legs, not having any feeling in them, the puppy was chewing on my big toe and it wasn’t until I felt a sharp pain, I didn’t feel him…

It is scary, when you are not a diabetic and have these issues and have had them since you were a teen and everyone said not possible…

Tests showed otherwise… Domestic violence on children is life altering…

I know, I am living proof…

So I don’t read books, or magazines or anything unless it’s on the computer where I have a comfortable viewing and even then, not more than a hour can I tolerate that…

No, my life changed when Freda gave a 1 year old a central spinal cord injury…

I didn’t let it slow me down, and now I am pushing to keep if from putting me in a wheel chair…

This is life of a survivor…

I remember…

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