This is my experience, not some myth… Not some story… This is my experience with death and how science and religion create a pattern of incomplete information…

Everyone knows if you have a brain injury you have a few things that can happen…

They say you can remember the before but not the during or after… Or you remember the during and after, but not the before… Or you wake up with no memory of what happened… You lost memory…

My nightmare mantra told me the order and I just threw up in my mouth, because for some strange reason, I am remembering the violence, every little detail and in that christian home there was violence nearly daily in some form or another…

Before the stroke at 14 on Japan, I remembered it all, every tiny sick little thing… I remembered…

The stroke took all that and would have taken it all if I hadn’t had the foresight to do the mantra, only problem…

I didn’t remember every tiny little bit when the stroke hit… I was still recovering from the beating in Texas that supposedly killed me and nearly killed my brother and thats why the chaos took over and jumbled things up so bad… I didn’t remember… Thanks to things lately, a lot of that time period has cleared up and this is what I do remember…

At 8, the boob incident in Alabama… I was beaten severly as you see bruises all over my face and hand prints on my neck… strangled into death and woke being slapped…

For the longest time I couldn’t remember, all I could see, was us kids outside laughing and bro and sis in the window… That was all the PTSD nightmare gave me…

Now, I remember it from start to finish… All of it, that gap in my memory gone and this was supposed to be near death number 1…

Now the second death, that’s one that hasn’t gotten any clearer and it will still be a near death experience…. This is what I remember…

Before the beating, us kids having lunch and arguments were ongoing in another room, fast forward to baby in crib, fight at night and that’s all she wrote until the memory trigger and recent events are giving me more clarity…

My brother and I fought my dad, keeping him from the baby… My brother took a awful beating and my mother lost custody of him and he was sent to his dad, also military… I died and woke to cops and medics and screams and kids yelling and crying and that’s all I remember of that…

Off to Japan to bury the truth… It was a scandal at Webb AFB, but dad was an electronic genius and they needed his brain… So bury the truth and ship us off to Japan…

Then I piss her off again and the stroke…

What is happening, it’s clearing up and I am remembering the violence, thus the mouth issue…

This isn’t going to be fun, because I am not violent and I know this house was and always hide it away…

I am going to be remembering the worse of the worse and just like the court clerk triggering the fight or flight… This too will trigger some things and…

That’s the last steps…. for me to remember…

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