Do you like mysteries and do you like reading books about crimes and do you like solving those mysteries and crimes???

Like any kid, I was deep into Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and anything else I could get my hands on at the local library… Owning a book, only a bible in our home, unless it was a comic… Those didn’t threaten the illusion of christian in our military home…

One thing about my parents, Don and Freda… They like to micro manage and they wanted to be the controllers of all that went on in that little house, only because, they couldn’t control themselves… They figured, keep a iron fists on the kids and no one will notice the domestic violence!!!???

My parents didn’t have to worry about that… After Colorado, we were sent to Kansas and that’s the second real injuries and that would be from the TV interview and oh my was she pissed I spilled the beans on a major TV station… (see early blog)… So she tried to micro manage anything that would come out of my mouth!!!! That backfired on her… and Don…

When the boob incident happened, I can picture the moment in time, it is seared into my memories as if it was branded, why???

Because I died because my sister who had a tumor on her ovary made her grow so fast, that by the time she was 5, she was wearing a bra and could get pregnant, yep, precocious syndrome, 1 in a 100,000 can be born with it…

Nothing special, but boy did she think she was the bees knees and she cost me a lot of beatings… So, I never had a sister… I had a jailer and she was 2 years younger than me and twice as big as me…

So you can imagine a 5 year old, 7 and 10 year old, not knowing jack shit about boobs…

Thus why there is a story and I died because, Freda was once again embarassed, because instead of explaining to us kids what was going on with sis, she kept her mouth shut and told her 5 year old, “you are embarassed by what happened”!!!!

A 5 YEAR OLD KNOWS EMBARASSMENT???????

Not a snow balls chance in hell!!!!!! That lie cost me a brother’s life!!!! He died by suicide in August 2024… Because of Freda’s lies and my sister!!!!!!

There was no escape clause in that home of horrors, but if you didn’t comply with what they thought or said, you were beaten into submission and there was no escape… Especially once we got to Japan!!!

Once overseas and the abuse happened again… and I sit here thinking of that time line and I still have issues… I had that stroke and I know, I know it was fall and the next thing I remember… The moon landing??? The preacher next door??? A mamushi???

UGH!!!!! This time line when the first stroke is getting clearer, but it’s still like I am trapped in a room and there is no escape clause!!!!! So frustrating!!!!

I laid in bed last night and thought of this before I slept and I got a glimpse, then music started playing and I remember the albums I had, the songs, like, I am a Rock or Bridge over troubled waters… Albums and music I don’t listen to anymore, because I don’t remember it and it starts playing in my brain again, like a teaser before the main event!!!

The fact that I am even remembering the music that I was into at 14 isn’t a surprise… Those sounds from that time have been slowly building in my brain for the last couple of weeks and I know…

The escape clause is about to be invalidated….

I remember…

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