Did you watch Trump last night??? We didn’t, we turned on the 1% game show and enjoyed it along with Taronga Zoo… We had a nice quite night…

Trump is the epitome of distrust… He is the personification of a christian, because, wait for it…. Trust… He does one thing and does another and expects you to turn a blind eye… Same mantra religion has done for a few thousand years and those that buy into it… Are mentally ill… I don’t make the rules, I just read a lot of psychology… So blame science for calling out your mental illness, I didn’t force you into your god worship crap!!!

3 weeks and I get to do the Zoom thing for the estate court… I don’t think my family had a clue about me and when you leave home at 18 and you are the oldest of the rest… You might miss out on a lot if you are excluded from the loop and after standing up to Freda at Mather, because Brother wedged my body under the bus… I knew, and I went on and lived my life… and boy howdy, do I have a few hundred(s) stories of survival and rubbing elbows with the rich and famous… (which between you and me, they ain’t worth rubbing elbows)…

I don’t have any real idea why my siblings won’t respond… Fear is the mind killer and they fear a god with balls and dicks, so… BOO!!! Don’t look under the bed or open the closet in the middle of the night kind of stupidity!!! Yea, Freda fucked them up good… she also messed up Don Linnen and my dad Don… (gotta keep some info private for now)…

When it comes to trust, I was so naive, it cost me in money, it cost me in time and it cost me in personal space… I learned and by the time the memory trigger happened, our kids found out… You don’t really know mom and they don’t… They really don’t and Homer keeps waiting for that one moment to happen and when it happened with his kid… Well lets say, my part of the WILL, doesn’t include her, because I am dead (as far as she is concerned, yea mental illness runs in the female line and that’s a known fact!!)..

Trust… Doctors don’t get it, acquaintances don’t get it, family don’t get it, friends don’t get it… Nope, trust is something I hold close and even Homer, never got it all… but then it was because of the dementia being a part of our 32 years of marriage, so, I bow to the disease, because of how it impacted our lives and the trust factor… Homer never cheated, trust can be more than relationship…

I have never trusted our government, I learned that in spades when I was active duty, because the people running the show are some of the most corrupt yahoos out there and guess what, that’s all the way back to 1971, when I started my first federal job and you guys are just now seeing the lid blown off the corruption in federal service… I got to live it!!!!!!!!

So, for me, trust will never be truly a part of my language… I may say the words, but I never fully commit… Why should I???

Trust is earned, not given… and too many humans, my family included, like playing games with peoples lives, because they are so bored or disgusted with their own, thus christianity… Need I say more????

I will walk through the rest of what time I have on earth, on guard, always watching my back, always protecting what is mine… Always knowing… Humans are one messed up spieces…

I remember….

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