PTSD nightmares are never fun and if you have had as much brain trauma as I have, well… That brain can go into overdrive with the PTSD nightmares!!!

Last night as we watched, “Hail Mary”, 2 pups in my lap, Homer had the other and we could hear the fireworks all around us going off… So we turned the movie up and the pups… Never budged, till one of us had to hit the throne…(old, means weak bladder)…

Homer didn’t make it to the end of the movie, so he went off to bed and was out quickly and I finished off the movie and went to bed… Pups never stirred and the fireworks never bothered them…

I turn the TV on in the bedroom and put it on rain storm for sleep and I am out…

It was another boring night in bed!!! No nightmares, no PTSD dreams, no nada, nothing, zip… over and out and I couldn’t tell you anything about my dreams, because, I didn’t remember them!!!

PTSD has walked with me since the central spinal cord injury as a toddler and I always knew, I never liked my mother, let alone loved her… She was violent and bat shit crazy, in other words, she was a sociopath…

I really thought I would have a up and down weekend when the court sent me an email to do the Zoom thing and I thought for sure… All of this would fester and create tension in our home and make me a walking time bomb…???!!!

None of that happened!!!

Going through the fight or flight after the court clerk yelled at me, was truly the last hurdle I had to get over after decades of PTSD due to domestic violence… and christians say they are good people… Not any I ever met and that’s in the thousands…

I sent a text to one sister and gave them a option about the estate… I haven’t heard a word and that is soooooooo FREDA!!!!!!!! Childish to the very end…

It doesn’t matter to me… I said before I shut Adorablespite.com down… My whole intent… Throw a massive wrench into the estate mess and if things were the way I suspected, it could financially hurt someone, not me… but definitely a couple of them…

Revenge… I never had to disrespect or lie or steal or cheat or rape or strangle anyone to death… To get even…

I let them do it to themselves… and that’s when you know, they have no critical thinking, let alone self awareness… Because… They are doing FREDA all the way to the grave and it didn’t do Freda any good or Don… or Larry!!!

Yep, this whole nightmare I have lived for 69 years is closing out it’s last vestige of angst… and I am so enjoying the show…

I may not have contact with my siblings… But I know psychology or I wouldn’t have bothered to send a text last night… her unblocking me was predictable… and so FREDA!!!!

What happens next… Well I fill out a form and turn it into the court for the Zoom thing and come August… We do court and how long it takes for the estate to be resolved all depends on how many FREDAS are in the family!!! (yea brains, educated yes, brains… NO)!!!

My next step, start working on the book again and decide what I want to do… If I want to really work at it, because, really what else am I gonna do at 72… Sure isn’t skydiving…

My only issue at this time… My lower spine is out of whack and I am having dizzy-ness from the nerves going to my brain… I have lived with this since I was tiny… and big reason I get motion sickness… Mommy dearest liked to beat on this kid… So, my weekend is trying to get the compressed area relief so I don’t feel like I am on a surfboard…

As for the rest of my world… It’s going… We are all doing just fine and Homer is getting a kick as I figure out what scenario I want to do in court and I act them out for him…

So many ways this could go, IF NONE OF THE SIBLINGS REACH OUT TO ME!!!!! Yea you can’t fix stupid… (Amazon keeps selling out of the kits)!!!

I remember…

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