Anybody can suffer from PTSD for any reason… It all depends on what our brain allows us to accept and sometimes… Our brain isn’t on the same page as we are and it wants that PTSD, it needs that PTSD!!! Why???…

Because you aren’t done with the journey you are on and I am realizing that in so many ways lately…

Having a high IQ is all well and good, but if you don’t understand psychology or neurology or brain trauma, i.e. Amnesia… You are swimming up river, not down it…

That’s where I have been since my mother passed in Jan last year… I have been going backwards 10 steps for every 5 steps forwards, in other words… I am running in place, because I haven’t recognized what my brain is trying to tell me, thus nightly PTSD nightmares that make no sense to me, because I don’t recognize what I am seeing!!!

Do you dream??? I have NEVER not dreamed… I can take a power nap, and I will dream… and when you have amnesia and you are living life… Those dreams can take up residence in your day and cause a great amount of chaos and it’s not what I like doing… Fighting chaos…

But that is exactly what is happening and the headaches are off the chart, waking in the middle of the night and it’s always the same area of the brain… and I try and grasp the fading dream and I am popping tylenol instead… That’s what I remember…!!!

I have lived with PTSD since I was a toddler when my mother injured my spinal cord… so I got 69 years of experience under my belt and I really thought, when she died it would really melt away…

Nope, instead, getting myself involved in the estate to do what I set out to do, throw a wrench in the mess or get the job to legally investigate and it looks more like, the court will not let me investigate… a court run by christians…

That being said…. Thanks to the last few months of this trauma, that I helped bring onto myself… It’s hold is letting go and that means I am making progress out of this nightmare and as the people of my past fade from view…

I can see the road ahead….

I remember…

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