Back in the day, when I could hold my liquor and I mean hold it… It wasn’t unusual for me to drink the biggest guy under the table and still be able to walk and talk and chew bubble gum and rub my belly and pat my head at the same time… (dare you to try it)…

I always was able to drink heavy and only 1 time in my life did I get so drunk, yea, it never happened again, I got a black eye out of that event, yes there is a story and it’s funny, but I was lucky I didn’t lose a eye… I’ll tell that story someday…

Now Homer, I could even drink him under and he can really hold a lot of booze… Neither of us miss it anymore…

As for drugs or anything that was capable of really messing with the brain, I avoided… I like good pot, not interested in a trip…

So why the write???

After the ER visit a couple months ago, things have changed for me, chemically, because, we don’t have answers, I have to walk a tightrope of existence…

IF the fistula is there and I don’t doubt it is, then my taking NSAIDs was a disaster waiting to happen, because I have bled from my bowels, because of what I am dealing with and once those start to bleed, stopping them, is a ER visit and a whole lot more and I know of someone years ago who got to experience that and it freaked her whole family out, blood everywhere… That is a story I never forgot and she was on NSAIDs…

While doing this body detox since that ER visit, even Homer, on his good days, he can see when I struggle with brain fog and if this happens when driving, and Homer is trying to tell me how to get someplace, yea, things melt down in a hurry and I have to shut him up, so I can focus on the drive… You feel stoned, but you are as straight as you can be and the brain feels like someone just put a cloth over your head and everything is fuzzy as you strain to focus…

So, what is happening???

It’s in the brain and, I can tell, it’s coming from the area of my brain where the first injuries happened, either via those monkey bars or Don & Freda Bagwell, but regardless, I know it’s the brain and not the body chemistry causing me issues… am I freaked out???

NO!!!

I have always known I had brain trauma, getting the MRI’s was my vindication and I have lived on the razor’s edge, because I suspected injuries, but had no clue how those injuries could impact my life expectancy, until recently and then for just a few moments I freaked and then realized…

You been down this road before on Japan at the age of 14 and disappointed your sister by not staying dead that time… (she so wanted to replace me, become me… but cowards never prevail…)

What ever IQ you can call it or knowledge I was born with, that’s what kept me alive for these decades of malpractice in America… and hopefully I will get to see that 100 year mark in 28 years… in the mean time…

I am doing the pancreas diet and watching Homer and making him participate in understanding how much potassium he can have in his meals, so he is now measuring and getting on line and learning and for someone with dementia, you want to challenge them to keep them in the here and now…

The only liquid I have had, has been my morning coffee and water the rest of the time, that’s also the only time I get sugar, in my coffee and you know what???

It made no difference in my nights!!!! Which is so frustrating, because I am still waking up every couple hours and bladder drugs, I can’t take, so I may be screwed on this, but if I go back to sleep right away, then, I feel rested….

All that said, all of a sudden the last couple of days, Homer, not sure he is aware, but I can tell when the brain fog comes on and it lasted less than a couple minutes, but I could barely get my words out and I stuttered and that is a pattern that has gone on since the stroke at 14… so yea, fistula is highly likely because….???????

That is the source of my brain fog…

If I bend over, instant headache, at this moment I have a bad pain in my right ear and that has been checked out by ENT since I was military in the 70’s and they found nothing… FISTULA???….

What ever walks with me in life, be it my brain or living by the seat of my pants, I should be dead, so many times over, I am ready to cut my own brain open and find out how I survived decades without a fancy education and living by my instincts!!!

THOSE INSTINCTS KEPT HOMER ALIVE!!!!!

Now, daily, I remind Homer, find me laid out, call 911… The bleed happened again…

I told Homer I got a feeling I saw a doctor on Japan, because of a memory I have and always had and questioned why both parents took me for a eye exam… That timeline is still out of reach of my grasp… So there may be some change to this story in the future…

As best I can figure, it never was my body causing the brain fogs, it was this blood vessel thing in the brain that is running the wrong direction that caused all of it an if so, the Air Force will get sued the VA will get sued and the Federal government will get sued… Anyone know a lawyer that has taken on the feds???

Can I do it, oh hell ya, but… I have a dementia patient in my home and dedicating myself for hours on end getting it all together like I did 8 times before, to make sure I don’t loose… Yea, not sure I got that kind of time anymore…

It is disgusting, men can get lawyers to sue the government but a woman… Yea, they are not interested in representing us at all, I know, I have tried and I have over a 1,000 pages of medical records to back up every claim I make…

All the men did, was say I can’t get an appointment at VA and they get on national tv…

As you can see, people aren’t interested in my getting justice… or they would promote my blog, like they do the Epstein survivors and my rapes and attempted murder were long before that scene really got going…

Sorry I digress, it’s frustrating no one really cares if someone like me gets justice… and that tells me I live in a country of more christians walking among us than profess and if so, justice will never happen for Epstein survivors or myself or my kid… Christians are the evil on this planet, if such a thing is real… Criminals is what I call them…

The detox is done, I have stuck to a pancreas diet and my body feels amazing, but when the brain fog hits, I step back and look at the actions I just did, to see what triggered the fog…

I don’t bend over, I squat, I don’t do a lot of things that would make the fistula do stuff and I learned those tricks after decades of symptoms and no doctor doing their job… Degrees are only as good as the person behind those pieces of paper and I got so little respect for doctors anymore… TRULY!!!!!

I will continue to operate the way I am doing and make sure I don’t do anything that can cause a problem and if no fistula, then maybe they can explain all the symptoms that have no answer but they easily dismiss…

Headaches, migraines, vision loss, double vision or blurry vision… Ear pain off the chart and always the right ear, balance issues, bouncing off walls or just standing and all of a sudden I am stumbling to my right, I have zero balance…

Yea, they are going to find a fistula… I have lived with those symptoms too long for it not to be a fistula…

Also, while looking at the MRA, they had a shot of my jaw, IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS BROKEN BEFORE!!!!!!

That may be the last blow to my head on Okinawa and like I said, I have had doctors tell me for decades my pain level ability is off the chart on how much I can endure…

So I am excited to get this fiesta of the brain and see what they find and get the MRI of the pancreas… I expect both to be positive scans of issues…

6AM and I need coffee… The brain fog thing, with the body detoxed, is an experience that is interesting when it happens and frustrating and someday I’ll explain why…

Have a wonderful day…

I remember…

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