Watching Homer’s dementia in real time, takes me back to what I was experiencing in 2017 and the excitment I felt for finally breaking free from the ID…(psychology)

Fighting those basic instincts I had been born with did me little good, in the end, they are the same instincts that kept me alive, but the basic needs of the ID outrode the common sense or reality I was living…

After a while I buried myself in books or escaped the house to the base pool… What ever I could do to escape the abuse, I found it, but once I left home…

Things started changing… I started changing…

I gave into some of my more basic instincts and from what I have read of neurology and psychology, my behavior was classic text book…

A once shy little girl, becomes a extrovert and fear… Fear rode in the back end of my foot ready to plant it or what ever came out of my mouth…

The person I was born to be, had to evolve to survive and become someone, even she didn’t know…

I can go back in time for the last 54 years and pretty much tell you every lover, every dumb thing I did, every stupid stunt, every excuse, yea, I can own a lot of stupid and the text books say I am to be excused, because of the brain trauma causing most of that behavior… and that is true…

But I knew what I was doing every step of the way and I revealed in the actions I would have never other wise taken…

Homer tells me I am unlike any woman he has ever met… He’s not the first to say those words… The only difference….

Homer has seen the change… Not a big huge transformation… No…

I still have a smart mouth, I prefer not oohing and awing over food, I prefer to eat to live… and dressing up, it’s fun, but it’s not everything and living in luxury… What I have now is what we earned, not what someone would have given me, for who I once was…

I really wish I had the neuros ear on Hawaii now… He would really liked the psychology of how all this is playing out and how the brain is continuing to heal its self and me…

My amnesia is still walking with me, but not as many years as it once was…

Now it’s on the hunt for the first 14 years and the little girl that could have been…

I remember…

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