Kansas Children’s TV Show… and my beating… at 5…

It is ironic… Once the memory trigger happened in 2017, recalling these disturbing memories at will is harder than living with the PTSD nightmares….

I can’t tell you what show we appeared on, but I remember Freda taking us to a studio and it was a children’s TV show…

I was about 5 and my sister, who looked like she was about 10, was only 3 years old…

You see, she had precocious syndrome, in other words, she had a cyst on her ovary and it made her develop and grow faster than she should and they didn’t catch it early, so it impacted her health for a while… (enough back story)…

As we sit in the bleacher’s watching the show… They pause and decide to interview kids and they headed straight for my sister… The 3 year old… and I sided up next to her, because she was already beginning to freak out, with someone sticking a big microphone in her face and I proceeded to tell the host and the TV audience about my sister, as I was protecting her… I was the big sis…

Well, that didn’t go over well with Freda, because now, anyone who had a TV in Kansas, now knew about my sister and that made Freda very embarassed… That issue, we will discuss later in the blog…

Freda was furious all the way home and she ranted and she screamed and she struck out at me… All the while, little sister is watching, and she wasn’t afraid, she had glee on her face… (That is something she would do more than once)…

We get back to those apartments, where we were staying while dad was stationed at the base and the next thing I know????

Freda has one of those old fashioned wooden rulers used in uphostery work and it was about 2inches thick and as my sister held my legs down, Freda proceeded to fracture my wrists, my hands, my arms and my legs and yea, doctors proved those injuries in the military… Anyway…

By the time Freda got through throwing her fit, I had permanent damage to both arms, both legs, torso and yea she hit my head too… such a lovely christian white woman…

When it was all said and done… I would learn to work with those fractures and I made damn sure I didn’t piss her off, so she wouldn’t grab my broken arm, once after was enough to imprint on me… Avoid the stupid bitch and know… I never had a sister, just a jailer…

To this day, I can not turn my right arm to use it to scratch my back, couldn’t hold onto the rope in basic training and many more issues over the decades and It was my last injury to figure out… Thanks to the VA testing…

I know that when Don took me to school, I was covered in bruises and as the nurse rammed the thermometer up my ass, I looked at my dad as I lay there and said, “I am being a good girl daddy”, he never could look me in the eyes after that, because he knew… He threw me under the bus for the love of his life, Freda…

He would continue to do so up till his death Aug 6, 2006…. No love loss, no tears… Just happy he no longer existed…

I remember…

A reader brought up the subject of grooming and that is a very valid point… Can I say 100% sure that it was going on???

Yes!!!

I knew it was happening and when I write about the strokes, you’ll understand how this narrative will go down…

When did I see Freda groom my siblings???

I have to go with what few memories I kept from the first 14 years of life and those flash’s of memory go from this particular blog all the way up to a family reunion in 04 or sometime around then…

Keeping it to this blog, I can say that by my sister helping to restrain me while I was being beaten was my first memory of betrayal and when I focus on the subject, those few memories I have, indicate the same kind of behavior…

Center of attention was what she wanted and she got it… What I got, was lasting memories all over my body…

Were other siblings groomed, you’ll figure that out as I tell the story…

I remember…