Not justifying, not making excuses… My life isn’t any different than yours when it comes to being a care giver…

Yea I can relate to dementia, because of all my brain trauma and amnesia… But… I am not living it, he is… I am just along for the ride and sometimes that ride is going to be anything but smooth…

I didn’t notice before we left the house that anything was amiss… I didn’t notice, Homer was in some confusion… He has hidden the behavior for so long, I have to be really aware of the nuances of it now…

Off to the bank, store and medical pot and as soon as we are in the store… I noticed and brushed it off…

Pot store, he had it all lined up what to get, so, easy peasy…

We stop and get specific mower gas and his instructions nearly caused an accident and I knew… We were in full chaos and if you weren’t aware, it would fly under the radar as eccentric or odd behavior and that is why doctors get it wrong in the early stage before it shows on PET or MRI scans or in the blood…

This behavior is something I called Homer on for over a decade and it has always been a part of our relationship and I just brushed it off as a quirk at first, and then it got to be a regular thing… Not daily, but it happened more than once in a month or year… Now it happens almost daily…

I tried for years, sleep test at a clinic, nada, DNA tests, and he has had 4 and all nada… Psychological testing and nada… Only the odd quirks I saw going on were my clue, Homer had a form of dementia… Something I watched my own father sucumb to…

We get home and I get cranky and yell at the pups to get out of the way and realize… Homer’s chaos had spilled over into my environment…

We get stuff put away and smoke that bowl and I ask…???

When did you feel the chaos??? Before we left the house or after???

He was quick to reply… Before…

When you, as a care giver, have that in your life… Be prepared to cope with the situation as if the person you are dealing with is a stranger… Because if you look at the intellectual you know, your brain is screaming, “THEY KNOW HOW TO DO THIS WHY ARE THEY BEHAVING THIS WAY???”!!!

As Homer’s dementia changes his brain, I can see it, I hear it, I watch it in his body language… I adapt…

Over the months, I have trained myself to react or respond in a way, that isn’t judgmental, just accepting, this is what the brain is doing and it is not deliberate or to be antagonistic…

IT IS DEMENTIA…

Because of his behavior… I told him after we talked… Today isn’t a day for you to play with your toys… You can’t do anything that involves machinery today…

I can’t take away his right to do things… But I can be aware of these days when the brain is not responsible, but I am and as a care giver, I won’t beat myself up for getting short with the pups or Homer… I adapt, so next time…

I am aware…

I remember… oh FYI IT IS CALLED STANDING YOUR GROUND…😘

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