Oath of Office…

When I joined the Air Force, I took an oath to serve an protect the constitution…..

What happen to the christians who swore that oath in DC?????

Your voice is your vote…if you want a world free of bigotry an hate….VOTE christians out of office, they have no clue what integrity, honesty an civil liberties mean…

When people can not live with THE CHOICES they make…they want everyone to suffer for the ignorant acts they performed to get ahead, instead of living their oath…they spread manure…look at Trump an his base…most dishonest humans to walk earth….but the man made god they made up will forgive them….

Will your children forgive YOU????

Sgt USAF DAV

Humans playing god…

Will history think favorably of the U.S. Senate an House of Representatives or the Supreme Court???

Will history ask why some Americans think it is okay to tell others how to live the lives they were born into???

Evangelicals an greed are the factors being judged in the senate…

Will 20 minutes of action become the norm….. because women have no reproductive rights in America because of those who can not live with the choices they made???

Are all to be punished for the guilt of others????

Only your voice can change what they want to be….. Vote for democracy, before democracy is no more….

Sgt USAF DAV

#NotMyPresident #ImpeachTrumpPenceBarrPompeo

Flu shot….

If you have not got one, you should… If you think you are immune…. do me a favor…..

Stay away from me an mine…

I can fight the flu, pneumonia an virus…. I got vaccinated ….

Your sorry ass has no such vaccine…

Be warned children of mine, we will not put our lives at risk, because you fear a needle……

Mom, grandma, friend….. get vaccinated the life you save may be ours…..

Journey out of Darkness…..

I’m still exploring psychology…. either through research, which is not much… or memory of papers written at the UK psychology departments or America’s many facilities that write papers….. These two, seem to be the best for accurate and current information… I also keep up with what Walter Reed is doing on Concussion closed head injury, since I suffered from over a couple dozen of those…. so, a journey is a misnomer on what I experience…

My mind is jumping from the time on Japan and another head injury, to Okinawa, where I suffered another head injury… both of these involved silent strokes… not 18 years old yet, and the body and brain beaten by christians… oh, don’t forget the rapes, by said humans…

It feels different, this part of the journey… so many times in the last few weeks, I have had the opportunity to fly off the handle and take it out on anyone within reach of my voice…. instead, I chose a different path….

Understanding what I have dealt with since the surgery at the El Paso VA… was so much easier than figuring out what happened in Texas, Japan & Okinawa… I hang my head in exhaustion…. The VA failed, so miserably they failed and we have troops that Trump think just have headaches…. They got it so wrong with me… can they help, or will they destroy the lives they are suppose to help???

I sit here and try and feel some anger towards the men in power protecting the jobs, but not the people…. what they did…. lets just say, I made up a bunch of VooDoo dolls and poked real long needle pins in them and named each one… Wonder if that worked??? Sense of humor, never left… just replaced with a void for a while….

Now that I’m back…. I’m acutely aware of my vulnerability to stroke and memory loss…. this diary will be printed out, to help me back… hubby helped with this one, because he was part of the past… he wasn’t around when I was a kid… just mommy dearest, sister dearest and brother dearest and since they are christians… Truth will never cross their lips…. just wow…. holy crap on a cracker just wow….

I expect the next 12 to 18 months will not be fun… I won’t want to be knocked out for implants and that means being fully awake while they do the procedure and from what I read and saw, pictures I can’t get out of my brain…. I don’t think I’m a willing participant at this point… still waiting on that call from Oahu…. because I will voice my concern of this not being done in a hospital setting… which I feel is appropriate, with my tendency towards strokes….

As for PTSD and my nightmares…. I’m dreaming, but not nightmares, not in the sense of PTSD issues… just repressed memories from my childhood issue and they class that as PTSD, I disagree… now they are just dreams of my childhood, void of joy, fear or anything… just a video showing me my past or at least reminding me of what once was… and that is the change in the brain… the fear of facing what I couldn’t remember is gone…

It is quiter in our house… we talk about the bs in Washington… and once in a while I will pipe up, because a memory rolled by and it triggered a memory… I always voice those, so they imprint…..

The chaos from the stroke in 2011 is gone… and I easily run through those years, without skipping a beat…. not so with my childhood…. the road blocks have not all come down…

At one time it was all about fear and not knowing… now that I know what happened to me… the rest as they say, is a walk in the park…..

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie…. TBI changes you, some just a little, others will never be the same… I know, I’m living it….

I heard they had headaches… Trump murders our military!!!

As a survivor of multiple concussions an a severe traumatic brain injury… Yep, headaches are part of the symptoms…

The other symptoms people with closed head trauma….

Personality change, aggression change, anger management ability gone, patience gone…lack of ability to stay focused , lack of ability to maintain who they were before the closed head injury…

I took over a half a dozen psych tests… First two were misdiagnosed in 1982…. all subsequent testing showed PTSD, which again is a misdiagnosis……

I have TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY!!!! and it changed who I am….

And yes to this day, I still have headaches associated with those TBIs CHRISTIANS gave me…

Just like the christian president just gave our troops in Iran…

Those LIVES will NEVER be the same….

I’ve lived with TBI, multiple brain injuries an it took the VA 60 years to correctly identify the injuries…. an you think Trump an his base give a rats ass about your kids in Iran?????

Well, I have a bridge in the pacific for sale!!! Enough said…

#NotMyPresident #NotMyGods #ImpeachTrumpPenceBarrPompeoGrahamMcconnell

Sgt USAF DAV

WILL we make it to November???

How ya doing after a day of he said, they said, who said an corruption for all to see???

Our house has been doing, watching an listening to anything BUT Impeachment crap….

We know in our house or Ohana… Our VOTE is our opinion….

Your voice, your vote….. watch out for snake oil, its pretty greasy with those white pasty Senators an president….

#NotMyPresident #ImpeachTrumpPenceBarrPompeoMcconnel

Sgt USAF DAV

I'm over the lies….. My Vote is my Voice….

I can remember in the day… the hell fire and brimestone kind of preaching… it wasn’t teaching you anything… it was trying to scare you straight… and frankly after watching the GOP and Trumps base… if you still believe in god… Dr. Phil might be available….. I would pass on Oz… he’s in denial of his own talent… it’s all god…

That being said….

When I worked protocol and watched Senator Dole watch another Senator who was shit face drunk crawl around on the floor and not say anything… any delusions I had over humans in congress, went out the door of the flight line building….. and yes, I know who the Senator was that was crawling around on the floor… so does Mrs. Dole…. go ask her….

You could say, that after the Air Force covered up my gang rape by officers and proceeded to cover up the rape and attempted murder of my children on a federal installation… I was done…

I had no faith, trust or interest in what the GOP calls a functioning democratic process….

When people swear the god they worship is the know all to end all and say it’s not acceptable to rape children, but they go to mass anyway… well that is the definition of insanity….

Still thinking of that bucket list… acreage, in the middle of bumb fuck no where, dig a moat, plant garlic all around the farm and get me a shot gun with silver buck shot and sit back on the porch and watch the circus implode….

Honestly, all joking aside… I know of only one way to take the corruption out of our democracy…. seperate church and state, like the founders documented….. and get off your ass and Vote, based on facts and not the internet or Fox news…. damn, that station just reminds me of that rag the enquire or other fantsay writing… like the bible…..

Our TV is on any station that does NOT have the impeachment on it… If I want to watch a crooked court room dance…. I can go sit in any court in the land and have a 50-50 shot of seeing that or a church….

I remember…..

Watching a rapist get away with it…

How ya doing today???

Beautiful on Hawaii, but our TV is on anything but another rape by men in power…..

So have a beautiful day, but we pass on watching christians telling us its okay for white pasty men like Moscow Mitch or Rapist Trump in action…

They be all yours christians…may you enjoy the raping of America an showing the world your true color….

EVIL…… only evil on earth… Christians… took over 4 minutes for this to post…. censorship alive and well thanks to Russian Alphabet company….

#NotMyPresident #ImpeachTrumpPenceBarrPompeoGrahamMcconnelJordan

Sgt USAF DAV

Progress out of darkness…. TBI & Stroke…

Always have looked at life a little different from everyone else I know…

Once you have died and know what death is… what’s left to scare the crap out of you??? May explain my lack of fear…..

The nights are good… I’m sleeping… the progress I have made, without the help of the birth family is encouraging and means at some point in time… I won’t think twice about the people who say they know their god, while they beat a child or strangle a child to death…

Well yahoos…. if you believe in after life… I’ll be there when it’s my time and I will kick your ass for eternity… so either own what you did… or expect me as your worse nightmare….. boo………lol

Honestly you can’t fix stupid, stupid has to want to grow the brain they dummied down for their god… and why would a god want you to dummy down??? and why would a god want you to have a say in another person’s life???… just to make you a god??? Holy crap on a cracker there be a lot of sick mental morons out there…..

As for the nights… my body is tired… it always will be because of the stroke in 1967 and near death…. but when I wake, a body still fatigued, but my brain feels refreshed… I know I got sleep… maybe not a lot, but I got more than I used too…..

Accepting what christians did to me and the realization they will never be held accountable… just makes it all that much easier to keep them out of my life and the drama in our home is non-existent… and it will stay that way, regardless of where we move too…

I find it odd, the tightness and strain I have carried in my shoulders for over 50 years is no more… when I feel that happen now… I know it’s from posture, and not my mental status…..

There is hope for TBI and stroke victims…. I remember… and it’s a jolt to the psyche when a weird memory pops in… wow, have I had an interesting life…. and how easy it was to peg those who were intent on hate and abuse of me…. including my own children… rude awakening is an understatement of what they will get out of me… and hubby… just saying….

Another thing I find odd… how the anger, that I keep close to my heart is cooling… yes I still have anger… you would too if you been through the moments in time I lived… and I know no man that could endure the pain I live with daily because of christians… no man could live with it… so I got Zero empathy for you or anyone else… I didn’t ask to be beaten and raped… and christians didn’t ask me before they did the crime…

So anger, still got some… peace, getting more of it… acceptance… yes I can accept the cowardly acts these humans that know their god and I will curse thy name till the end of my time… and hope that is making your skin itch… cause I want so bad to become the itch, you can never get rid of …..

Now that would be sweet revenge…. I got in your head…. and will never leave….

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember…. Margie…. happy MLK day….

Meditation helps with TBI and stroke….

Stroke causes a lot of chaos, if it impacts your memory or personality… it’s a struggle but you can get back from a stroke… with TBI, it’s a whole lot different…

When Big Springs happened, when Margie died… that was the major event and the most trauma….

I was told I was born with double pneumonia… even in those days, they took chest x-rays to make that diagnosis…. and if that is the case… they would have seen the partial blockage to my primary vessel to my heart… and I know this because it was found in the Air Force, within a couple of years of my going active duty…. they were looking for something else and found that…

I asked… so many times I asked what happen in my childhood… I asked the mother and I asked the sister that says we are ever so close…. as you can tell I have not gotten any truth from them… the people who took Margie’s light more than once….

Deep in my mind, I always knew I couldn’t begin to imagine the horrors that child went through and yes I still look at it from a 2nd person type of view… and thus the need for meditation…

I started meditation back in the 70’s and have used it ever since and I have always known, you can change the brain and it’s reactions, by just doing meditation…. as you can tell it works…

I use it to this day… and I’ll do it just about any place or any time… depending upon the circumstances you would think… but no… I just allow my brain to go to its special place and let it do it’s thing….

I used it in the dental chair when the doctor behaved sexist recently…. it kept me from ripping him a new asshole… so it does work…

TBI is the most frustrating, because, the doctors can’t tell you how you are going to cope with the injury… I could see the change in me and I could feel the change… like I said… I was the classic text book TBI patient from 1967 to 1992 and that was when things started to get real interesting…. I was waking up and remembering…. it took this marriage and it’s stability to allow me to get out of the nightmare my christian family enslaved a small child so very long ago….

That may explain the dreaming… instead of dread when I close my eyes, now I welcome the darkness and the sleep… and thankful I can raise the head of the bed when hubby snores…. so yes…

Meditation has made a world of difference for me, with the TBI’s and the bone scan confirm those concusions… the MRI & MRA shows the other damage… sigh………………………….. but as I brush off the negative thoughts on this… it works… it helps to settle the chaos and allows me to have more control over what I’m working to achieve…. the short fuse has become a moment in, be glad I’m too tired to put my foot up your ass attitutde….. it helps in that respect….

I Remember… Margie…. Sgt. USAF DAV