Sometimes you have to go away…

Hawaii… spent time on the islands more than once, before moving here… Oahu was a fun place to explore when I was sent to Trippler for emergency care…

Last night I was that close to deleting this site and closing it down… an that temptation has become stronger…

It makes little sense to tell the truth, when christians are running the narrative in our country… a country built on democracy an on the backs of every race, on this planet… but the white people, the racist… I’m related to them… an they own the bigotry and racism…

A banger went by this morning, before 7AM and I stomped outside an screamed…. “Who the hell are you to rape my home”…. I do got a set of lungs and I know he heard me, his car windows were open…

Rape… raped as young as 13 and betrayed as young as my own birth….

My mind just went off on a run into nothing ….. I find it ironic that mental health gave me all kinds of tests an proved everything I have written… yet I’m the bad person in this story, because I said no to abuse and manipulation…

That itch to withdraw back into my world, where those who want to be in it, are already in it… an those that don’t, will likely never get the door opened… I’m weary of 66 years of abuse by my birth family and children….

The closer the time gets to my renewing this site, the more the itch to delete the site and disappear…

Have you goggled your name… I did… oh dear… credit monitoring is only so good… thing is, the information out there isn’t accurate… so credit monitoring is only as good as the company, equafax was a joke an we passed on any settlement, to many hoops to jump through for a few bucks.. but, at least I know what is on the web about me… so disappear, yes, but not off the net… but, since the info isn’t accurate… they can’t impact me in any significant manner…

Day is started, office being packed up, so we have a place to put the flooring we pick up, when I go for pre op…. need to get back to work…

But yea, this site has it’s days numbered, I think… because what I had thought to write about, didn’t seem to be important enough to share and that has been the issue for most of this year…

I’m retreating back into my private world…

We looked at properties available here, now… we saw a couple, but the neighborhood isn’t exactly where we would like to be, so, we got lots of time to find a forever home… in the mean time… I got work to do….

Hot weather, humid and typical summer… What ever we buy, it will have to have AC….

Have a good one….

I remember…

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