Breaking Free….

Nice big truck load of mulch… so we can take the pots off the plants around the 10,000 gal catchment an make it look more natural… so much demand, a line of rigs was there when hubby got in line… he’s going back for more tomorrow, if it’s not all gone, already….

He came home, we talked of what transpired across the way, while he was gone and we both took a nap an had ice cream for breakfast…. is it bed time yet??? At least no bangers drove by… it is quiet, except for the sounds you would hear in any neighborhood… minus a woman’s scream… sure sounded like she was kicked out of a moving car….

No news on TV… tired of being insulted by the christians and the president of the country I served… that jackass isn’t worth my respect at his death, let alone while he lives… so, no news, except local, to keep up on the virus… which after last night, they spread it around doing the drugs and sex… I need an excavator, so I can dig, one big ass moat around us… Tonka toys… I love me some tonka toys… you had to read the blog to get that one…

Ya know, any one who has gone through or living with PTSD… it’s one interesting ride and when it’s coming to an end or has ended… it’s like you lost your best friend and you want to fill the void and look for what that should be… and you realize…

You are breaking free of the cycle of PTSD… for me, I could tell it was happening by behavior changes and actually understanding the psychology behind what I was experiencing… total geek on this subject, no clue about math… but shrink shit… yea, it’s fun…

Now figuring out if this stroke happened at El Paso, I was very suspcious about what went down an made sure hubby knew all… an his mom died the day after my surgery… an we had just taken in 6 foster puppies that were only 4 weeks old.. so no traveling… a lot of life happened in those couple of weeks… but I could feel something wrong and I felt a lot of mistrust towards El Paso VA, an now I know why… an Congressmen Beto O’rourke got involved and I made the local news… and I’m still the bad person, because I caught them harming patients…

Me….

That other shoe I kept waiting to drop, got put away…

The way life has been for the last year, is the way I expect life will continue… with just one tiny exception…

We know we are selling and leaving Hawaii… we just have no clue to where…

So I’m looking at 5th wheels that our truck can tow and we figure, we’ll figure it out from there… where ever we get off the plane at…

But those of you, with PTSD, the road can be long, lonely and hard… trust yourself, the old you, the one the nightmares replaced is still there… you just have to find your path through the maze of fighting back an breaking free… I never thought it was possible after 60 plus years of it…

I was wrong…

Have a wonderful day, we are blue skies, breezy winds and so far, after this morning cop show… it’s quiet… an we are truly counting the days till we leave…

Adorable Spite… looking for a forever home…

Sgt. USAF DAV

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s