So far, THEY are right….

I don’t mind bragging about my knowledge… the only people on earth that want to make women look stupid… is christians & frigid men & women… just that simple…

Psychology is a fascinating subject and when you are self aware, oh boy, can it be a hell of a ride…

I’ve used psychology on people since the day I could understand… I watched, listened, and most of all I kept silent… so they would have no clue what I was working towards and by the look of things…

I caught the christians in my family, with their panties around their ankles and sticky fingers in the cookie jar….

I wrote, sometime back in Jan or there about’s that change was coming…

The psychology text books, so far, have gotten it right… and I’m a classic example…

I didn’t think the depression would ever go away… instead… I’m back to where I was on Japan at 14 years old, just before the stroke and the mantra I taught myself, so I wouldn’t forget the abuse… all of it worked… or I wouldn’t be at the end of my journey …

I will always have some form of sadness, that is just part of a stroke and in reality, that mild depression is so minor, you don’t notice it… not like it was last year or the 65years before….

I’m dreaming, when I get to go to sleep and hit REM… I’m dreaming… and all it is… is the memories that I suppressed from my first 14 years of life, good an bad… all showing up and quietly taking their place in healthy brain cells to cement into the long term memory…

When I think about PTSD… I didn’t hesitate to make myself remember the abuse… I had no problem clinging to those memories, because I knew, one day, they would be put to use… I didn’t understand as time passed, why the nightmares and why just a few specific memories… I do now and I think that is why the PTSD nightmares are over… Why & How???

Like I said, back when Peggy tried to shut me down, she admitted to dumping me on the floor from the top bunk… once that memory was confirmed… I have NOT had one dream about falling… Not ONE….. nor do I have any type of height issues… that was obvious by going on zip lines…

Once the PTSD nightmare is seen for what it really was, it goes to sleep and seems to be staying that way… I had a confirmation memory about the bunk beds in the last couple of days… saw it in real time…..

Well a banger just drove by… back in the day, after a night like last night… you would hide, not call me, not bother me and make sure I had plenty of pot….

Now it’s just, how often do people want to hear that siren in the wee hours of the day??? It is loud and when they go by in the morning… I hit the button and let them know, I know what you did in the wee hours of the morning…

I’m actually having fun just pushing a button and watching the serial offenders, shut it down… may get to enjoy Hawaii after all, until they make us take the siren down and they would need a court order… so play time will continue… but I would prefer sleep…

I am very happy I quit all the drugs the Air Force was brainwashing me with and the VA was trying to kill me with…

I take a strong NSAID & cholesterol drug and muscle relaxer as needed… I used to take over 10 medications… all they did, make things a whole lot worse…

I should be bitchy as hell, because I’m not getting more than 4 hours or less of sleep, for a week now… an instead… I’m just trying to figure out if it’s the people at night keeping me awake or is it something else…

Wow, my typing is really getting harder for me and I’ve written about my fine motor skills for the last couple of years… dictation is starting to look more like the direction I’m heading… oh boy…

I wonder if a pod cast thing would be fun… I would have to get a couple of nice microphones, to filter out the noise, but when I write, it’s spontaneous… not sure I can do that with a pod cast, plus I got no clue how to do that stuff… this app drives me crazy as it is…. Laptop has a different view… my big PC that I’m on is a different view and the Ipad & phone has a different view… not uniform or consistent and I am learning it… they updated and I haven’t really played… so, it’s really on me about this goofball app…

They say to keep dementia at bay, learn something new… that’s great, but if my hands won’t type… what’s the point… I used to do 135 words a minute, letter perfect… now I struggle to do about 60 words a minute… so, it’s not getting better, it is getting worse, which is why I gave so much craft stuff away… reality is a cold bed fellow…

Birds chirping away outside my window… nice comfortable nights… we are headed into our hottest time… and you so look forward to November getting here and enjoy, until March comes around…

Anyhow… the depression has definitely changed… I’m back to where I was, when I lost something precious….

Margie….

Adorable Spite… waiting for the skeletons to glow…. why not, christians believe in magic… I want a Griffendor robe…

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