A little sadness came along…

Most of us on earth, walk through life, knowing where they came from…

All I had was ghost of memories and nightmares for decades…

When I asked the person responsible, they declined to give me information that would make my mental health whole or save me from more surgeries, as the doctors tried to figure it out…

I moved to Hawai’i, because this is where my husband wanted to die…

Well his heart decided it wasn’t time and a young deranged airman walked into a church in Sutherland Springs, Texas and murder 26 innocent people, men, women, children and the unborn… because he could and the Air Force failed to do their job again… Nov 5, 2017 is burned into my soul….

When my memories started waking up, I was confused and scared… Afraid of what I would find out…

As each petal of my memories unfurled, I understood why the family didn’t want me to remember… they were afraid of the truth…..

The truth has been exposed, thanks to my detailed medical records, that back up my story of being beaten from the time I could walk, till I could pick myself up off the floor at 17 and tell the man, you will die, if you ever touch me again….

Walking out that door at 17 and I was losing memory with every motion of my legs…

I didn’t know I had suffered multiple brain injuries and I didn’t know I had a stroke a couple years before ….. I only knew, that I became Alice in the Looking Glass…..

When that young man killed those people in Texas, I sat down on the 7th of Nov 2017 and told my husband, I had a memory to talk about, that I had never mentioned before…

I feel the goosebumps begin to climb my skin and I take myself back to that night, the night Margie died….

I had crawled in bed with mom, another nightmare and she said… “don’t talk in your sleep”… I woke to thuds in a cloud of nightmarish dreams…

I heard words and baby… I looked at the little one in the crib… I knew her daddy wasn’t mine… and I leaped from the bed an met my brother in the hall, trying to break up the fight that had fist swinging, children screaming and bodies going in all directions…

First Larry got beaten and then he came for me… my 100 pound 13 year old body, was no defense against a deranged man….

I woke from my nightmare 9 months later, no memory of what had transpired… no memory of my first 13 years of life…

I walked through life after that and it wasn’t to much later, he beat me again… an the stroke happened….

The book is going to be the hardest thing I have ever set for myself to do…

But I made a promise in the bedroom in that rice patty housing outside Johnson AFB and told myself as I gave into the stroke….

I will never forget….

I remember… Margie…

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