No! No! No! I don’t Wanna!!! edited

No I don’t want to upgrade my Adobe OCR or my NERO or WP!!! NO!!!

I’m so over getting all this crap notifications and email about upgrade… I have a middle finger ready for upgrade… just saying how I feel, keeping it real….

PT over for the day and today I found out… my exercise routing is a little ambitious and it’s been go get em kind of attitude and she said, well most vets are like that and I had to stop her and said… No, I just kept at it until I either did it or gave up and If I gave up, it wasn’t meant for me to do… and I’ve know that since I was a very little girl….

I don’t know I can’t do something until I fail at it… an people for decades say if you are going to try, do… those are able bodied, dumb ass celebrities who haven’t a clue about life to begin with…. I’ve died, I think I’m a few eons ahead of celebrity bull shit…

So, I’ve known since I was very little, that if I didn’t try, I failed from the get go… so I always tried it… sometimes it worked and sometimes, like taking flying lessons… it didn’t work… an not because I puked… my legs were not strong enough to manipulate the pedals of the plane I was flying… an the brain refused to cooperate with vision…. so, I tried, failed and still succeeded, because I tried to begin with…

It’s been that way my whole life, after what Freda did to me as a baby…. that hair brush beating was more than just striking my backside with a long handled brush, no, she became enraged for breaking something of material value, because her daddy gave it to her, an if you knew the story of that relationship, you would question it’s worth and the woman’s mental status…

But that hairbrush incident was the shaken baby incident… My guess, just from conversations my birth family had, thinking I had no clue… I had seizures after that and my spinal cord was injured and it just continued to be injured until that last blow at 17 and PT agrees with my analogy, based on the results of all 4 MRI’s…. and physical examination and my limitations…

Not quite 2 years old, an my life changed in an instant… physically… Mentally, I was still all there and by the time Texas happened… per the MRI, right frontal lobe damage with blood stain… TBI with stroke in other words… and It was all over a child born, not of my dad’s blood and I paid with my life… and said child, took from my childs innocence… yep, the circle of violence and deprivation knows no limits….

When I confab with the PT girl, the expression on her face when I told her about Freda reaching out and Debbie reaching out… if they think they can dangle information in front of my face an get me to come back…

Not happening… because I already know and knew when it happened….

Yep, the last MRI… I’m done, no more blood scans, or anything else… no more tubes…

I’m happy that my brain is free of any plaques, lesions, infarcts and anything else that could have spelled major issues as I grow older… instead… other than the area of the brain already acknowledge as injured… I’ll take it…

PT will be a life long action for me… I have no choice and the more I learn and understand about the stroke and all I did to compensate for no health care… typical Air Force and VA… I’ll get there… but not under government control…. Trump is just a classic murdering christian… how many will die, because of a man made god and a dude that is bat shit crazy and a GOP in it for the money and not country???? How Many Will Die???? so far 140,000 an counting… yea christians…

As for my new eyes, well the girl put the wrong info down and the eyes were worse than before and they apologized and I get 2 mores weeks of headaches and eye issues… oh yea for human stupidity… seems to be spreading like a plaque of Trumpites….

Plan to pick up the last of the fresh food this weekend and button up for Douglas to make an appearance…

Stay safe out there, wear a mask, wash hands and stay away from each other and we can get this virus under control in 60 days… but not with religious morons in the mix… so good luck….

Adorable Spite… ready for a nap after that massage…

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