The Boogeyman or woman is coming to visit… don’t look under the bed….

Dinner over, boy was it good… tempura chicken, tempura zucchini and squash, mushrooms and little onions with some big ass steak fries…with a slice of texas toast… hm… pups ate good… lol, I get it down, but not that much… hubby is content…

Tomorrow the last shed gets put back together and hubby constructs a dark green house… that will give us a good privacy line between us and the neighbors… road privacy is growing fast and when walking, you can’t see onto the property from the road… so, it’s getting there and the neighbors across the way, quiet, because they need a place to crash during this pandemic… so it’s all good and no bangers…

I was thinking, as I giggle about that thought, thinking… how tired I felt… and I hadn’t done much today, some workout, chores and computer work… not much, not like I used too…

The fatigue… it’s haunted me since Japan and now that I know of the TBI, stroke and central spinal cord injury… it all adds up and why it’s an on and off type of symptom, though, I have never felt rested since Japan 68…

I know from experience the triggers for my PTSD nightmares are many and yet so few… the trigger now… Knowing that the brain is okay, still got damage and that has been there going on 53 years here pretty soon… and I’ve learn to adapt to the drawbacks from a brain injury… so what more is there for me to do….???

Remember… to put the PTSD fully to rest, so that it does not bother me anymore… I have to recognize the abuse, I have to relive the abuse… the screams, the pain, the agony and the victory… because here I sit, telling the story, I shouldn’t be able to tell…. but I am…

No sleeping meds, nope, this has to be done and it will mean some nights I crawl in the recliner an stare out the window, letting the memory play out among the stars that twinkle in the night… letting the sounds of the crashing waves envelope the screams of the past….

Yep, got a feeling, sleep is going to be little to none and star gazing is going to be frequent…

For me, it’s the only way to finish the PTSD and own what was taken….

With that thought in mind… time to put this machine to sleep for the night….

Nighty night… maybe…

Adorable Spite… taking Margie on a journey….

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