Assimilate the past…

Assimilate the past, hmmmm… they say, you can’t live in the here and now, if you don’t know your past… that’s not true…

I walked through life for over 50 years, not remembering what happened to me until a young airman took 26 lives in Sutherland Springs, Texas… memory triggers… that was mine Nov 5, 2017….

Just as with Freda reaching out, or who ever sent the email… it will trigger memories… that is what PTSD is… and when you have repressed memories like me… gee, is their anyone out there like me??? am I like Typhoid Mary… unique??? Okay so that is twisted… keep in mind… oh yea the mind… that christians did this to me… I just went with it…

Memory triggers are the oddest thing… I’ve had it be a smell, a sight, a person, the tone of their voice, something stupid Trump, evangelicals and the GOP does… it can be anything… and this time… it was an email from the little ole lady from Pasadena…. so, what got me about it when I saw it… I didn’t avoid it… I immediately opened it… hate being too curious and satisfaction is just so satisfying…. and promptly deleted it… not interested…

I didn’t leave the fold, I got pushed out by her highness and her consort… they wanted it that way, and it will stay that way… as for the jester, court bully, crier, adviser and master controller… again… the opportunity was put out there… you chose… no do overs….

Why no do overs… because I gave them ample opportunity…. they all decided to take and that will be my memory of them at my grave, if I think of them at all, doubtful, not likely… probably be more concerned about my dogs…. true story….

No, Friday, I took the power back… if my birth family wants to come after me… go for it… the feds found out not to mess with me, think you are any smarter…??? Not likely….

Yep this weekend turned out exactly like I figured it would, when I open that email and these last two days played out for me in that instant upon seeing the email…

Margie is in driver’s seat and not interested in back seat drivers…..

Adorable Spite…. smiling….

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