Still Waiting….

Going to bed an expecting to be jarred out of a sound sleep, not a good or healthy way to live… that’s bullying on Hawaii… sad but true… but last night, never happened and the phone by the bed, never got used…. damn my eyes, partly blurry… ugh…

But… that one little precious word humans made up… when I have a detailed memory about a timeline… I usually will dream about it, because there won’t be anything pleasant to remember….

I got a little shock from the PT kid… he asked me if I had any good memories… and I was taken aback for a second and said yes, but didn’t expound on those memories… why??? Because those memories have no impact or bearing on the trauma… the trauma is what I’m putting to rest… so when I see PT, it’s about putting the dots together on the injury to go along with the symptoms…. and to me, that is more important than thinking about positive memories… time for that will come…. besides, I make good memories every day, I just don’t talk about them, private lives do have some value…

Tonight… hmmmm… hubby put a gate in on the road side, so that we can access that area easier…today, instead of doing the walk, I plan to use that area, to see if I can get pictures of license plates… they will be able to see me coming from the water… but those headed to the water, will never know I’m there… an soon that won’t be available… things grow so fast and our privacy hedge is thriving….

If that doesn’t work, it just mean’s walking in the morning and having my camera ready….

Exercise… oh my goodness the exercise… I feel so much better as far as the pain goes… that’s all I’m getting, is relief from some of the pain that was caused by bad habits to compensate for my injuries… and a resurgence of old pain, because the body is getting back into alignment and those old pains, from the injuries, let me know they are still here, just waiting for their turn… go figure…

News… oh dear, Trump thinking of pardon himself, doesn’t surprise me… christians forgive themselves for rape, murder, theft, cheating, stealing, rape… oh yea sex twice again… well that is their MO….

So I guess, we all just do what we need to survive the disaster Trump and christians brought on America…

I sent education toys to my great grandkids, so they could continue education at home… our great granddaughter will be 7 this year… so she is a handful an our great grand son is fast approaching 2… anything to educate, I’m all for….

Hawai’i will have it rough for a few years and ignorance on Mauna Kea isn’t helping.. the money is going to be needed an so are the jobs… and we are seeing first hand how no jobs and bullying go together… because we never called cops here until this summer… we are that fed up with the crime and bullying… and it will get a whole lot worse… so ready to leave…

Well the day is started, the PTSD nightmare on the timeline is still in the wings waiting for the night it can let loose… it could happen during the day, if I’m allowed time to relax and let it happen… noise, always about the noise… got a feeling if no trade winds, we will be in AC… that gets old too… just saying… I prefer the nature and windows open… but again it’s about noise…

Have a great day… until this next part of the memory kicks in, I’m in suspense, just like you….

Wash your hands, wear a mask and social distance….. stay safe peeps…

Adorable Spite… watching Trumps voodoo dissolve around him…. like runny poopoo…..

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