How do you turn it off!!!!

It is something I noticed very early on… sweat and not any reason to sweat, but all of a sudden, my head is drenched in sweat…. it was so bad a few minutes ago, I gave up and closed up the house and turned on the AC and after my body and the house cooled down I stepped outside… it’s not that bad… how long is this going to go on??? Forever???

My first memory of the head sweat and wanting to puke out undigested food….. was around the age of 5 or 6… after the TV interview beating….

So lets do what I do best… Speculate…..

Lets say that hair brush incident at toddler age was more around 1 to 2 years old and it was such a violent event, I got shaken baby syndrome… so there is the start of spinal cord injury….

We get to the age 5 when the TV interview beating happened and I got no memory from the hairbrush beating to this beating… so I lost 3 years of memories… an people wonder if I have any good memories… (people do that, because they are uncomfortable)… Abuse is not suppose to be looked at as comfortable…!!!!!

So the car ride around 6, an I up-chuck solid foods… boy did that stink, it was so nasty in smell… you would have thought someone opened a barf factory in the front seat of that car…. an yea, I’m grinning, thinking of the assholes I barfed on… by this time, after that TV beating… still was mostly internal issues, and spinal cord… so, sleep was something I did a lot of ….

I have a smattering of memories from age 6 to 8, when the boob beating happened during the Bay of Pigs… and that was again all mommy dearest and that one also injured the spinal cord and by the pictures… not one inch of me was missed with what ever object she used to hit me with….

By the time Texas happens… I’m not much into being in the hot sun, backing off on the swimming pool, but, really hadn’t slowed down….until that night in Texas and it all changed… TBI, Stroke, spinal cord injury… (the stroke evidence is with me today 53 years later)… PT is helping me with that…

By the time Japan happened an another beating… my spinal cord was shot and the body… the body went into denial….

We get to Okinawa and at 17, the man hits me again… and this time he gets told, touch me again and you are a dead man… I guess I was the first person to stand up to him and not hit back… funny how that works huh, lil bro….

A few months after that last blow at suicide cliff on Okinawa, I had a full blown stenosis meltdown, scared the guy I was with…. scared me…

An that damn process has happened daily now and several times a day… like today… I woke up wanting to lose yesterdays dinner and knew by the lack of hunger pains, I had undigested food in my belly, 12 hours later… an breakfast, wasn’t until 11:30AM… I’ve been up since 4AM…. this is my normal… and has been for decades… just now… It’s daily…. so…. back to my question….

When will it ever end???? I can’t be out helping hubby in the heat, my body revolts at the humidity… I can’t do anything that makes me over heat and I have to constantly be watching how I place my back, neck…. everything… so I’m not triggering it… the stenosis heat wave… an I thought hot flash’s were rough… no wonder they were so intense, when coupled with stenosis…. and doctors didn’t listen… go figure on the failure of the VA health care system… job security… not health care… and that’s a fact….

So the house is closed… I’m waiting for my body to quit feeling like it wants to live on another planet without me… because I’m ready, lets go… so over Trump, christians and religions corruption… so, yea… peace would be refreshing…

I know the exercise will make things better… but I have to get past this point, when flare ups happen for no other reason, but to happen… it drains me to the point… is it bedtime yet… an we are suppose to go back an live and participate in other peoples lives and I can barely participate in mine…

Maybe the pandemic isn’t such a bad thing after all…. (okay I know that was total sick, but, truth isn’t always pretty)….

I need to cool down more and see if I can get my body moving to do the things it needs to do….


Adorable Spite… Trumps voodoo numbers are going backwards….

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