You never knew me to begin with, so???

How can you sit and talk about me, when you don’t know me??? You didn’t read all the blog, you haven’t lived with me for decades, you don’t know my wants and desires, you don’t know my pain, physical or emotional and you don’t know anything of the scars that cover said body… so….

How can you sit and talk about me, if you don’t know me???

My son said, well you sit a lot for work… I busted out laughing and said, so you don’t have a clue about my life and walked away…. that was my 2nd son who made the comment…

My oldest son once said, I remember you being so different…. this from the child that ran away from home at 16 and expected me to play mom, when he decides he’s a man that knows all…. yep, my blood thinks they know squat…

When a family reunion happened an we happen to be living in the area, no way of avoiding telling us about it… so of course we were invited to my parents home…. my mother and sister said, I would never turn down marrying a millionaire… I laughed and they gave me a look… and the subject of rape came up and something to do with Kubasaki and I said, well I got raped that night an told you I wanted out of that club and you wouldn’t let me because you were friends with the mother running the club… and all my mother an sister could do is go, we didn’t know you got raped…. this is important if you READ the blog…

Recently, after I started recovering my memories in 2017, my sister said, well you told me so and so touched you…. an oh, that was such a big mistake…. why???

Because if we were truly sisters, she would have known of the molestation as a kid and the rape on Okinawa… I never talked about either issue, until I married hubby 26 years ago… that is the first time I talked about rape…. FIRST time, 1994….. I caught her in a bold face lie, as my memories were waking up and I knew… she was part of the abuse… the sister that says she is a child of god… still trying to get my foot out of that gods ass… just saying… getting a little warm and wet over here…

I never got it about my memory ability until, this past couple of months, since the hernia in my neck reset and all 3 disc quit putting pressure on my spinal cord and veins… the clarity has been very nice, with loads of headaches… go figure…

But I told pretty much everyone that had anything to do with me since forever… the dumbest thing you can do… lie to me…

I put great value on truth and if you lie, you just disrespected me and closed the door on our relationship… I’ll play nice, till I get bored and like with ex mom in law… I have no guilt… why??? Because she lied to me and disrespected me and that’s a door closer… she doesn’t have the right, no one does… just that simple… but… always that little word…

Christians and muslims… all religions, justify every action they take, instead of owning their bigotry and hate and they have a need to own other human lives…

So for all the hype out there…. Slavery is alive and well and it’s name….

Religion…

Red pill, live the wold of the matrix and never find out how special life really is…

Blue pill, live the world of reality with all it’s pain, laughter and life and death… because you only get to do it once and every step in life, helps you grow… the red pill will just tell you how to feel…

I chose the Blue Pill, why???

Reality is a beautiful place that never lets you down and is always there when I need help, love, support and most of all honesty… and that last word may explain why my world is so small…. I don’t have to lie to a god to have a good life…

I just have to be honest and accept the consequences that go along with that honesty….

Fear is the mind killer….

Adorable Spite…

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