Working it out…. I think…edited

Oh give me a home, where the mind … don’t roam and the deer and antalope play………………………..

Yep, this is getting so very old, but I did want answers and you can’t get answers if you don’t try or ask… and sometimes… You just got to ask your self those questions….

I’ve gone back over my time of playing… you know, kid to the core till puberty… well, I never quit being a kid… oh well…

Anyhow, I’ve gone back and actually seen some of my years between 1 year old to 5 year old… nothing stands out… I crawled around like any kid, climbed over, under and through stuff… read tons of comics and was just a flat out tom boy…. until…. Alabama… and things changed…

I often wondered, when my own kids were born, why I couldn’t tolerate being on my knees, in certain positions, in other words depending of the position of the left knee, I can handle being on it and other times, I’m letting lose some good screams, which happened when we painted the ceilings in this house and I use the frig to stabilize and got that knee just right, so something is wrong with it and the picture evidence would agree… she beat the crap out of me at 5 with that wooden ruler…..

So was that the first knee injury or wast their another… We know Alabama, the boob incident, strangled and beaten… how badly, the picture on my front page shows the bruises…. but still that’s not when it really changed…

Texas… it always comes back to Texas…. I’m getting flash’s of memory from toddler on up and when I get this much information… It’s like being under whelmed by Trump’s Tulsa rally…. so it’s annoying and taxing… and part of the process….

So the little stinker Neuro doc was right… so far, what we expected me to remember I am and what we don’t expect me to remember, we got no clue….

Thought I was going to say something else, huh???

My mind has been from when I was born, to this very day and after a while… you ask to turn it off and I’m so hoping that is soon….

Go back an see eye doc, something is wrong, maybe, to many injuries and to goofy anatomy…. he’ll figure it out…

PT every week, I’m sore… did all the exercises today and legs aren’t pissed at me… yet…. Neurology in a few weeks…. waiting on consult for myelopathy testing… expect it to be positive…

As for the PT… the kids are smart and being great help, for both hubby and me… the more questions I ask, the more memory I trigger… so it’s not about dreaming like it used to be… no, it’s just more about remembering and filing it away… so I don’t go through this kind of health care hell ever again… I hope….

The spinal cord injury, it comes down to the boob incident and the Texas incident… both states, I had some kind of near death and lost time… Japan would have been among that count, but that all has come back… How I pissed off Freda and Peggy and how Don beat the crap out of me and injured my spinal cord and nearly killed me… yep, nice people, who hide behind the word christian… not a relgion… it’s a cult…

No matter how much I dig into the time before Alabama… the spinal injury was between Boob memory and bastard birth memory….

For me to get this far is so good, so damn good… I’m doing all I can to keep my stenosis in check, now that I know what I have lived with since Texas… 1967… I’m hoping not to have anymore cognitive issues… unless I smoked a kick ass bowl of med pot, which…. it’s time for a break…

Margie… I’m remembering…..

I’ve been told, once you get these kind of inuries, the neck and the spinal cord, re-injuring would have been easy, considering my circumstances…so no clue how many times they hurt the spinal cord, but I’ll go with 3…

Boob… Texas…. Japan and maybe Okinawa, so possible 4….

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