Back to the Future or Square one……..

Ever feel like you haven’t made any headway, even though time has passed, like decades….

I had clues something was wrong, but thought nothing of them… I’m wondering if America feels the same way about Trump and his christian base, hell bent on enslaving American women???

You know something isn’t right, but are you doing anything about it??? Protesting is a start, but so is voting and so many of you don’t bother… and most of you could just do mail in ballots… I’ve done that since I was active duty in 1977… so no excuse not to vote… but you’ll come up with one and that makes you just like the christians destroying our democracy…

Enough politics, this is about me… the physical side… I’m back to square one… I’m dragging and dropping, what’s that… well I used to drag one leg and one foot always got kind of dropped and turned so that the toe of the shoe would get scraped on the pavement… took a picture of a shoe I did that too, after we moved here… and after PT that stopped… well it’s back again, so why???

I’m so, so on exercise, I do it, just enough to keep the pain at bay… so no, I’m not a exercise freak, I’m just eccentric….

But I do, do the exercises, just not every day… and that has made my left side stronger, because the long band that runs from your hip to your ankle is staying in place, but now… the right leg is letting me know, it’s doing the same thing… Compartment syndrome…. and no, not doing surgery….

The PT will help with that leg… what this all means, I’m back to where I was physically in the military, where I there too, did the exercise I had to do, to stay fit for duty and got the same results…

I still had issues then and do now… So what does this tell me???

I’ve tried to figure out if I had any kind of physical therapy or anything at Webb AFB, Big Springs, Texas and I seriously doubt it…. Why???

Well by the time we got to Japan and they hurt me again… I had balance issues, vision issues, stenosis issues were showing up in painful and dizzy ways…. remember I told you I used to be able to do a standing back stand…. I can get on the floor and do one now, but not standing anymore and haven’t been able to do one since Japan, which is when I did the last one at the swimming pool, weird how these memories work, I embarassed myself, had a bikini on and doing a back stand in that apparel, well, nothing left to the imagination… thus the memory sticking… oh well…

Regardless…. the reason I could never do another one… my neck was herniated and spinal cord was injured and stenosis was making it’s appearance in a big way, I would get so dizzy with stars, I was cutting off the blood flow to my brain and I can do it to this day, thus El Paso nearly killing me…. it just took till Dec 2019 when they did the MRI to get a diagnosis…. yep that is military and VA health care…. 1977 to Dec 2019 to get answers… an they call this health care in America????

When I tilt my head back or to the side like last night as I gave hubby a kiss after we got in bed, I titled my neck to the right and felt it… the pressure on my esophagus….. I immediately set up and told hubby what happened, so PT is right, my neck is no way stable…. an I went on multiple zip lines???? I’m pushing those last 6 lives…

All this popping, cracking, crunching and clicking sounds I hear from my skull down to my toes… is something I have heard my whole life…

They beat on a baby…. Freda beat on me, because she couldn’t force me to behave the way she wanted, just like my granddaughter is doing to her son… the damage won’t be pretty, it’s already showing in his behavior and he’s just a toddler, like I was…. when does it stop???? When????

If one more doctor tells me that’s real young to have those symptoms, I intend to ask them to prove that I don’t have shaken baby syndrome and I wasn’t abused from the day I was born till I was 17 years…. Prove it doctors, put your bull shit on the spots of my body not injured!!! Can’t find a spot…. NO DUH!!!!!

What is this about this morning… sleep the body is getting some, got up 2, maybe 3 times last night…. but still slept good, the body won’t let me curl up, it wakes me in pain… so I’m learning to sleep the way I did, before I was dumped on the floor from the 2nd bunk repeatedly…. explains the Occipital damage to my skull…. sigh….

The exercise, I hate it, but I’m doing it and I’m trying very hard to get it in at least 5 times a week, because I know it makes me feel better in some ways and hurt like hell in other ways… no pain no gain I guess….

Enough rambling…. no nightmares, just remembering….. and the more I remember…. I understand why I kept my distance from my parents and their insanity… but, I remember now… and that is what is important… Fifty years in the making…. wow on christians corruption… just wow….

Sgt. USAF DAV I remember… Margie…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s