Bonefide… Justifide….edited…

My hubby just got his ass chewed and if this had been six months earlier… the whole neighborhood would have heard my rant… instead I chewed softly, as any good wife would… teeth marks are extra… just saying….

So reading my blog is too painful??? Justification, to not know the truth… Justification as a mental health worker??? REALLY??? Maybe too sensisitive and if so, does that make for a good mental health worker??? It does not… I know that first hand…

So my late father in law, wife got a letter from me and I worded the letter in a way that someone on my level would understand and boy did I ever get it wrong… because I just got a phone load of texts on my Ipad that I can’t read to begin with… yep, the laser didn’t work like they wanted…. so still got blurry vision… I’m never going to get to drive my new 4Runner….

I just blew spit every place… yep that frustrated… sitting here with fans blowing on me so I can document this mess hubby made for me… that was bugging me before she got the letter today… so yep, I knew before it arrived this would happen and that’s why hubby got softly chewed… I knew…

When you look at people and think you know them, you really don’t… I thought she was self aware and up there with me on some level and I was wrong…

What I judged to be upper level thought process was nothing more than nuturing and that’s why the letter I sent got to her… she hasn’t a clue what I meant, nor understands… which means I have to back off from the way I think and explain this on a level like I was talking to my kids or hubby….

I blew it… I misjudged someone’s ability, when in fact, her’s was more attuned to emotional needs and not on the intellectual level I’m constantly in… even the Neuro doctor struggles to stay up with me…. I struggle to stay up with me…

I can let it lie and sleep or I can correct my mistake… of giving another human to much credit for intelligence… when instead… I forgot, they believe in gods and angels and magical rape…. so what do I do…

She won’t read the blog, because it’s too painful??? Justifcation, has always been a religious excuse… no matter if you believe or not… Justifcation is a tactic that the religious use… evaluate that, think hard and long about it… and you will find, when you justify… you are just making excuses….

For me, intellectually, let her think about the letter… Let her remember the past, which I seem to never get away from… not even 20 minutes ago…. and send a christmas card, letting her know, hubby was moving on and my explanation, though detailed and involved, had not the impact I expected and no hard feelings, we just didn’t want you hanging in space when you didn’t hear from us again…

I’ve had enough people in the last 20 years do that to me… I thought I was being courteous and thoughtful… guess to much thought and less courtesy and just leave them guessing…

Uncle I give up….

Margie… I no longer want to remember….

or you can use that 26 years of marriage an guilt trip hubby into making a phone call… he will keep the relationship alive or put it to sleep, regardless, she won’t be left hanging, like we have been by so many who took from us…. christians are easy to spot, they always leave you hanging, thats easier than being a grown up living breathing thinking human beings…

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