I wanna….start over….

Can I start life over, so that I don’t do, what I did before??? I mean come on… if the religious can have a heaven and hell that they made up… I can have a fantasy about life being fair, equal, yada, yada, yawn….

Okay, so stupid idea for equality in the world… the mentally ill out number the sane… and that is a true story… and did you know that most of our leaders world wide, have been mentally ill??? Some of them out right bonkers… I know, again, related to the yahoos… geez, this is one massive family I got hatched out of….

Happy dance… I would if I could move my legs, I was barely able to walk out of PT afterwards… but I enjoyed the exercise, that did my thighs under… gotta figure a way to have that set up at home… it’s dangerous and why I like it… an boy did I sweat doing it… so sore thighs, sore back, sore ass, sore neck… and none of it because of the beatings…. just from exercise… I’ll take it… gotta get a big ball tomorrow, may sing a different tune after the dogs attack me on it…

As for the Laser eye things… I can’t see out of my left eye… it should be normal tonight or tomorrow… it was interesting what he did… he blew a hole in the new lens they implanted… something that happens, but usually not for a couple years after cataract surgery… mine was immediate and we hoped it would clear up and it didn’t… if it comes back… that will be interesting…

The PT kid examined my neck and ran a bunch of test and the vertbrae is intact and the spine itself is okay, from the test he did… his conclusion…

Central spinal cord injury, when the beating in 1968 on Japan….. that beating changed the family dynamic and after Okinawa… the Bagwells and I began a long distance relationship… now I understand why….

My own father beat me to death and my mother strangled me to death… all before the age of 14 and I survived… just wow on christians and the cruelty of the religion they worship, because they can’t live with the mistakes they made in life and own them…. pathetic and cowardly… much like Trump, GOP and Kavanaugh…..

So PT every week for another 11 weeks… and by the time I’m done, I should be down 20 plus pounds… and feeling like my old self… because a lot of the issues I’m dealing with can be reversed to some degree and give me a better quality of life….

But I was right, my issues with my neck could have killed me at anytime… just by putting my neck in the wrong position… like they did in El Paso, when they worked on my leg… those yahoos, nearly killed me and covered it up… and they made damn sure… I was done with VA death care….

It’s a bite to my budget… but hubby is going to the same place and he has full coverage, because of my VA status… and I’m using my medicare, so a little out of pocket for me, keeps the VA out of my health care, so that death happens when time decides and not some anarchist in the VA system….

So, the neck going back in place when ever I wrote about it… keeping it there, will keep me from having issues with swallowing, breathing and will help take the pressure off the nerves impacting my body functions and organs… Some of the damage can be reversed, some… enough to give me a better quality of life… It will never be where I can toss a roll of sod or pick up a 50 pound bag… those days have been gone for some time… but… I can function, have less pain and have more involvement with life, instead of hiding at home, in constant non stop pain….

I have hope I will get the best results out of this PT and that the neurologist will give me the answers about a couple of things after the nerve induction test… I did miserably last time and doctor was amazed I could walk… I’m hoping this time, my legs react, as well as the rest of my limbs…

I have hope and I always will… that is the one thing those in power and call themselves christian could never take from me…

Hope….I get why you kids want equality… that is all I ever asked and we see how far that got me in 66 years… I’ve had to fight every step of the way, because of one reason only…..

Religion and it’s corruption in our Democracy… it stole my rights, it stole the natives rights and it stole the African rights… Relgion is the deep state in America…

Doubt me… that’s okay, you haven’t read the blog and it predicted everything we are experiencing right now and I wrote that a couple years ago…

Margie, I remember…. Sgt. USAF DAV have a nice evening…. I’m going for a major bowl… I hurt….

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