Chronic Fatigue, at 15??? Air Force & VA ignored it…

The one thing I do remember about Japan after I lost concious during the beating…. the unrelenting chronic fatigue…. and it was over powering at times…. but I won…. or did I???

A sleep study will never be done on me… I fight to get out of the hopsital back in the day after major surgery…. and I hated the barracks…. sleep came after exhaustion, because I slept with one eye open, figuratively….

I knew when we got to Japan, things were off, but… that one little word… Margie was not completely gone yet and that mouth… oh, how she could come up with a come back so fast, it made your head spin and that’s what pissed Freda and Peggy off… envy… pure and simple they envied me…

So I paid with that beating on Japan, just because I said words they didn’t want to hear…. the Truth…. just like Trumpie… the Bagwells were more concerned about image and keeping Don’s military pay check coming in, because if anyone had known what he did on Japan… he would have been court martialed… remember, he got locked up in Texas, after he beat me to death…….

I can remember study hall at Johnson high school, at Johnson AFB… and I would fall asleep an go through that nightmare of not being able to move, but could hear everything going on around me…. I learned to fear that…. it happened recently, because I am so exhausted by the issues with my mouth…. so I work hard to make sure, I get some kind of nap in, to prevent that sleep disorder from rearing it’s ugly, scary head…..

I complained of these symptoms for decades… and it is documented in my military and VA records and no one cared, why??? Same reason civilian doctors here say… they can’t find crap in our VA medical records, too much bull shit opinions from federal employees protecting their jobs and not putting health care information in the records… you can thank congress for that, instead of being health care…it’s job security… and that has been proven….so those who died from Covid 19 in VA nursing facilities… you will never get the truth… they will lie and put it in writing… doubt me??? That’s okay… you haven’t read the whole blog… I already proved it…

I get, I have a unique situation… not only having a stroke, but a severe TBI and multiple concusions…. add the beatings that triggered the neuropathy and the internal scaring from organs that got damaged and healed on their own… so my insides have lots and lots and lots of scar tissue, and I already had one surgery to open my small bowel that got strangled by adhesions….

But the fatigue… ugh… the fatigue… I think I got out of bed twice last night, pee and back to bed and asleep, no nightmares… yet I wake up this morning at my regular 5AM and I feel like I didn’t get 1 hour of sleep and it’s been that way since Japan and I think that explains when my neck gets herniated because of those symptoms, have to do with the spinal cord…

Right now… it’s just a overwhelming fatigue, pain is always there and always will be, so I don’t associate pain with the fatifue… but I can tell the difference… this fatigue today, I’ll probably not take a 20 minute nap… maybe… out of habit… but I know the fatigue is not going to keep me inactive like it can some days… and those days… I push… push to do everything, from brushing my teeth to cleaing our home… it’s all major effort to combat the fatigue… something I have lived with since 1968….

At times the mental side pushed me to my edge… but life had to be lived, children raised, bills paid and advice to give that was not wanted, but they asked anyway…. as long as I had a reason to wake up every morning… the fatigue would never keep me down… I guess that makes me a optimist… ironic….

I get it… with the stenosis diagnosis, I get it… the pain, the headaches, the balance, the posture, the vision, the sex drive, the thyroid…. everything… has been and will always be connected to that beating on Japan in 1968….

Just because I told the truth…

Such nice people that call themselves christians… you have no idea the hate I carry for those who wear that label, instead of being….

Human….

Sgt. USAF DAV I remember… Margie…

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