Whack-a-doodle on the memory loss…

Ya know, when I started looking for my childhood, before what ever happened on the operating table at the El Paso VA, In Nov 2011… I was looking, because I had confronted Freda in 2010 about missing memory… it’s in the blog how she replied….

So that little back story… reason for the confab….

The memory that is missing, that is related to the several hundred books I have read in my lifetime…. Do you know I gave away over 500 books, when I left Arkansas…. got bored with reading and I proceeded to forget about the stories, even the ones I really enjoyed, like the Clan of the Cave Bear series, good writer, just not correct about the people… I know, I’m related to them…

But it don’t bug me that I’m missing all those books I read and all those stories I had in my brain… It’s as if, when I stood in that kitchen in 2010 and said the words out loud to Freda….

“I’m Missing Memory” and all she could do…. turn white and lie…..

I get why I don’t remember the books I read as a kid, lots of stuff I did or worked at, I don’t have those paticular memories… but as an adult, not to remember all the stuff I read??? Tells me one thing…

They didn’t hold my interest…. Why??? Because the romance novels, I lived those… the Adventure novels, I lived those…. the Manual’s for what ever, I lived those….

Once you live life, you find reading someone else’s writing has to have something… it has to relate or touch you in such a way, you want more… and I don’t think I have ever read anything like that in all my years on earth….

I imagine their is work out there that is that good…. there is nothing pulling me to go looking for it….

At one time, that wasn’t the way it was… I thrived on reading, it was my escape from the hell my poor brain lived through… now that it’s home…

It has a lifetime of salacious adventures stored away…. that I lived….

Brain injury changes who we are… and we are for a time on the outside looking in on ourselves… but as the brain heals, you become aware, this is something you really like or you miss the person you were, before the brain injury…

I miss the person I was before the injury…. Margie was ever so special, but christians tried to own her and she simply said NO and paid dearly for owning her own body and mind…. Her soul was always hers…. TBI changes us forever, we are always looking for home and home is never the same…

I remember…. Margie….

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