Okie dokie…. neuropathy, mental… cuckoo???

What am I noticing that helps with all the crap my body has to live with thanks to chrisitans…

One thing for sure, I put my body in one of it’s old habits and the pain is awful.. not immediate, but within a minute or less, I know, I’m in bad posture…

What freaks me out, the pressure on my throat, my breathing… and with what has happened here at home, I’m betting that’s what happened on the operating table at the El Paso VA and why they were so freaked when I got O’Rourke involved… In the end they lied and covered up the attempt on my life while in their operating room… and how many times has this happended and is still happening…. Trump thinks we are expendable and experiments on us!!! an THAT IS A FACT!!!! lousy christians...

The more I push the exercises, and I’m not consistent enough for the change to stay, so, I have a lot more work to do… (Inspirational Leader is who I try to do, she is impressive, read her blog)…. but exercise an me, never been buddies and I learned that at basic training in 77…. 10 years after the TBI, I went in the military…

As long as I’m aware of what is happening, I can protect myself… my neck is my achiles heal… it goes wrong, and I’ll be gone… just that simple and I pretty sure, Neuro is going to request another MRI, after that breaking sound we heard…. it’s painful, I smoke tons of pot, but it doesn’t always help… the exercise does… so damned if I do and damned if I don’t… so I push… I figure if that kid can do it… so can this old woman… at least I finally got arm muscles….lol

But, it is scary how my neck feels so unstable and how much pain, numbness, balance, headaches, nauesea, blurred vision, breathing issues…. and it’s all related to my neck and has been since daddy dearest beat me, because I pissed off mommy and sis…. but 1968, that’s when the neck injury happened… that I’m reasonably sure of…. 14 years old, and died twice, raped 3 times and wondering is life worth it… now you get why I buried my memory ability… christians homes are not pretty and never have been… read their manual, their book the bible the text on how to destroy life….

Moving all this furniture, showed, hubby and I are not going to be able to do much when we leave here… it’s hitting him hard and I’m not much help… life is changing for us, and we both try so hard to keep active, so we live long productive lives… but the pain, sometimes… it’s just not manageable and you look for that moment in time of freedom from that pain… it’s what we have learned to live with…. neither of us use narcotics… just natural stuff and NSAIDS….

Nope this neuropathy is a nightmare... one I was aware of my whole life and made the choices I did… some not too smart and allowed weight to build up… and sitting too much… but, I keep working at it… the arm exercises are giving me back my hands and arms, but only for short periods… as the body tires, the posture deterioates… so it’s a constant struggle from the moment I get out of bed… Even the bed is torture, if I lose proper posture… It wakes me up, letting me know, my neck or spine is in the wrong position…. this is so not fun… but… I’m alive…

Neuropathy, has walked with me since the first beating at 5 years old, when Freda broke both my wrists and fingers, damaged my left knee cap and probably fractured bones from my head to my toes, according to PT…. and they know injuries when they feel them…

I could say it is what it is… but I didn’t do this to myself… Christians did this too me…. and their is no excuse… do you know that only those who justify anything are usually christians or used to be christians or are on the fence about their beliefs…. Justification is a christian behavior… other wise why rape Mary and say it was magical????

Back to work before it gets hot…

Margie, I remember….

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