How Far??? How Long???

When will it end??? When will I wake up and not have thoughts of old pass before my eyes??? I’m tired… Mentally worn out, from all the drama, I have had to relive….

I go back an think of all the times I talked to mental health, and never trusted them… after the rape of my 6 year old… and the fact they tried to make the child feel like they did something wrong… yep, I got no use for mental health, especially the Air Force’s brand of it… the rapist was never held accountable… but my career was over…

Ironic… that’s the first time in 40 years I thought of the rape and didn’t get boiling mad… progress…. and great sadness, I wasn’t able to protect my child on a federal installation, and the FBI was never contacted by the superiors… sigh, beyond anything you can imagine…. sighs………………………………..

I know for a fact, many of those involved with the cover up of my own near deaths by military personnel, to the rape of my own child… many of those so called veterans are dead, and I imagine, many more will pass because of Covid… funny how life equals things out in the end…. yes, I remember the names and ranks… and I watch the obituaries…. revenge is a dish best served cold, so you stay out of jail… I can wish the worse and think the worse, as long as I don’t act on the worse, like my superiors did….or christians…

Psychology on this whole mess… wow… and I mean WOW...

When mental health did what they did to my 6 year old… I started reading and learning… and most of all, I continued to ask questions of Freda and got the same answer, until I got my memories back Nov 7, 2017… she hasn’t talked to me since… lol…. Mommy dearest is afraid of the past…. boo….. Arkansas Covid numbers are climbing… who’s name is it looking for????

Cavalier about some of this, yes…. I have every right to be… I survived being beat to death, strangled and raped multiple times… all by christians… and those same yahoos are dropping like flies, because of Covid and no god to save them… enter my lair, said the spider to the fly…..

Yea, mental, I’m pretty much home and aware… fully aware…. sadly…

Mental progress, leaps and bounds… physical…. oh, dear……

I can’t hide it anymore… I can’t hide that I throw things… or make huge mess’s when cooking or it takes me all day to do all my chores…. and I am tired of people thinking I’m superwoman… I never have been….

I just didn’t know about my deaths and injuries…. like they say…”What ya don’t know won’t hurt ya”… I just shook my head, so, maybe not….

Life is like that box of choclates, everyday offers new adventures, by just using your imagination… it helped me get home after christians killed me….

Yep, this whole experience is one for the books… and I’m not too sure I’ll write about it… I accomplished the goal I set out… I exposed the Bagwells for what they are… crooks….

Ya know, if hubby dies on me… that’s it… I’ll never go back to my maiden name… I changed it 5 times before… the 6th is the keeper…. and fast approaching our 26th wedding anniversary…. even we can’t believe we made it this far in life, let alone together….. lol, we both have face death more than once…..

Enough rambling… have a awesome day… I get to climb a ladder an tape off the ceiling for painting… oh joy….

Have a safe weekend….

Sgt. USAF DAV I remember… Margie….

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