“You Don’t Need Anyone”….

I have heard that line from every husband…. Did I mention I tried the marriage christian thing 6 times, before I woke up an realized it was a marriage christian thing!!!! I mean, REALLY!!!!???? Too many toys, to need balls and a dick in your life…. talk about taking on headaches!!! and I did it 6 TIMES!!! lol

Each marriage was a tool to help me remember… Each man, had different qualities and failings… Each man helped me in my recovery…

What’s that got to do with anything????

This all goes back to before Texas… I know in Alabama, Freda strangled me and I lost time again… an my throat was scoped and it has damage from that type of injury… this incident, which I have always called the “Boob incident”, or near death… I lost time… so near death…. anyhow…

Before that incident, I was fearless… jumped over snakes, walked 20 feet off the ground, with no safety, no fear of rides, yada, yada, yada and Texas happened…. and another near death and I lose more time….. along comes Japan and another near death and I lose more time… all this going down, between the ages of 8 to 14 years old… 6 years that changed Margie forever and showed her, the truth of her christian family…..

I see neuro in August, other than for the physical damage, we are done with each other…. his knowledge I need, to live a better quality of life… his psycho babble… holds christian bias and I’ll pass….

It’s all about remembering… Once I started remembering… the fight or flight mechanism disappeared and I know this for a fact… because things have gone down in the last year and it didn’t get the expected response…

Remembering has been the key to my recovery from the beginning and the living is not talking… Freda (mommy dearest) and Peggy (sister dearest) aren’t talking… only because if they do, the world will know the kind of christian women they have never been… as with all religious… it’s an act… to buy their way into man’s heaven….. shook my head on that thought… ouch!!!

I respect fear, I always have… maybe that is why I was so frustrated for decades, because of the mecanism in my brain in over drive… when it shut off, so many imbalances I have lived with, have been working their way back into a healthy psyche…..

Memory loss is scary… Brain damage from trauma, through no fault of your own… will stoke an anger inside you, you didn’t know you had and you will fight it and lose… or win….

I finally won…. I remembered……

The living can continue the conversations with their imaginary friend… it, just like social media, is a poison that dumbs down the brain, so that you can screw up and say…. god will forgive me….

But will I????

I remember… Margie… Sgt. USAF DAV

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s